The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I've mentioned on this board many times, I left my AH in the spring of last year. We've been married for almost 30 years. I'm so much more at peace living in my simple one bedroom apartment, just two miles from work and walking distance to pretty much everywhere I want or need to go. I can sleep at night. I can pay my bills. I keep busy with my Al-Anon meetings, and my family and friends.
Just when I think that I'm safe and in a really good place in my life, I get pulled back to Crazytown. It started this week with emails from the cell phone company and cable provider notifying me that his bills were past due (I am somehow still cc'd on this messages and now I've blocked them). Today, the lawyer emailed both of us telling AH that he will be evicted in days if he does not pay the agreed rent for our home (the mortgage company has taken it back while we are in litigation with them), and he has stopped paying the lawyer his fees. The lawyer states that I could be responsible for the fees since we are still legally married and the house in both of our names. My AH is still unemployed and waiting for a settlement on a business he sold (read: lost).
Instead of panicking, I just took a deep breath and asked my HP to guide me right now. Of course, when I texted my AH to see if he got the email from the lawyer, he called me back to say that it's the lawyer's fault, the mortgage company's fault, blah, blah, blah. He continues to take no responsibility whatsoever. The "I'm the victim here" mentality continues.
A year ago, I would have offered to help him pay the rent, the lawyer fees, the cable bill, etc. But I know better now. I'm not going to make things any better by trying to fix this mess. I need to let him either sink or swim. But, man, it's hard to pull out of Crazytown some days.
All aboard! I'm boarding the train back to Serenityville right now. Can't wait to get back!
Woot woot .. train is leaving the station by passing crazyville!! I'm so glad to be on the serenity train too!!
Great share and way to work your program!!!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo