The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In NYC AA has a telephone number for the Hospital Admission Help line. It is listed in the White pages. I went to the directory obtained the number and gave it to him
He called !!! AA took over from there and He was in the hospital within 5 hours.
Good Luck
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 22nd of February 2012 10:08:17 PM
My AH sat next to me on the couch tonight and cried. He cried because he can't stop and doesn't know how and doesn't know what to do. This is not the first time this conversation has been had.
Tonight he was asking me to help him find a 3 day detox program because he can't do this on his own and doesn't believe just going to a meeting will work.
I told him that he needs to do this on his own. That his recovery is up to him. He got frustrated that I'm not willing to help. So I went and found a link to the different recovery programs available in our area, emailed it to him. I told him they all have information requests forms that can be filled out. I also told him that our insurance (blue cross blue shield) is pretty comprehensive.
I know he is very sincere in wanting help. I'm just not sure how to handle this. His recovery is his, and I don't understand what he is going through. Any ESH is very very much appreciated!
Jackie... in my opinion, you handled that extremely well... you gave him a bit of help/direction, but still gave him the responsibility for actually doing something about it....
Similar story with my past, as when my ex-AW was at her bottom, and desperately needing to get sober.... she asked me for the information about the Treatment Center (which up until that time, had refused to go to). I came downstairs, handed her the number and the phone, and went back upstairs... She made the call....
For my money, you done good :)
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
yeah well done . Perhaps you can suggest you will attend an AA meeting with him * just one * he will find the help he needs all he has to do is show up and share he will find all the help he needs . Good luck Louise
Way to work your program, Jackie. I commend you for the way you handled this difficult situation with your AH. Sending you prayers right now. Don't forget to lean on your HP too.
yeah you did good. you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink the water unless he wants to. All you can do is show them where the water is. and thats what you did.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
You handled that so well. I hear what he means about needing detox and rehab, even, and that meetings wont suffice. My AH still says that he needed rehab to get his head straight so it does make sense, though I cannot relate mentally, just know my husband talked that way. You know his program is up to him and you are doing what you need to do to keep your sanity. I left rehab up to my husband as well, I left setting up his outpatient to himself, setting up his doctor appnts to himself, etc etc.. its nice because now he does his stuff on his own and I just have to worry about my stuff. I think you did great!!
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Thank you all!!! I'm thankful for Al-Anon and MIP!!! Before I would have done all the work and then been so frustrated when nothing happened. Now I knew to give him the information but allow him to make the choice to pursue the information! Thank you!!!
Hugs Jackie, you did GREAT!!! You already have gotten wonderful ESH .. good for you!!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Jackie, I think you did great. Detox wont work of course unless he commits to a strong AA program afterwards. Most people go to detox and rehab and think they are "treated" and don't get that AA is the long lasting treatment for Alcoholism. Perhaps he is at the point where detox is needed. It's safer that way anyhow. But Detox and Rehab are not alternatives to AA...they are just what is needed to get stable enough to go to AA 7 x per week for 90 meetings in 90 days and then continue on from there. Generally speaking, a person wont get sober until they do that.
All that is just for you knowledge...
You already got the ESH from the Alanon side and, again, it sounds like you are doing great in that regard.
I agree with everyone that you handled this very well. It was kind and compassionate to steer him in the right direction. Now that he has the information, he can use it. You will feel much better knowing he did it on his own, and it may very well improve his chances of recovering.
