The material presented
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to exchange
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level.
I originally posted this on another board. Maybe it may be more appropriate for on here.
Hi,
I was wondering if you could help me.
Are people who go to aa allowed to be sponsors for al-ateen? I have an issue with a male who sponsors our children's al-ateen group. He has made inappropriate comments to myself. I have spoken to another sponsor of the group. The other female adult responses are basically that's just how he is. I'm starting to get sick of hearing that. As we don't want myself or our children around him now, we're limited in going to the meetings only when he's not there.
To me it doesn't seem fair, when he has his program and our children are missing out on there's.
The Al-Anon/Alateen service manual that I have does not say AA members cannot be Alateen group sponsors, however it is suggested that an Alateen group be sponsored by two active Al-Anon members. Notice it says Al-Anon, not AA. Those sponsors need to be at least 21 years old, active in Al-Anon for at least two years. It also states that no person may act as an Alateen sponsor if they have been convicted of a felony, or charged with child abuse or any other inappropriate sexual behavior or if they demonstrate emotional problems which could result in harm to Alateen members. Not suspected of these things or accused of these things, but charged with these things. Background checks should obviously be conducted. I, personally, am in AA and in the past I have been involved with the sponsoring of Alateen groups, but only because I am also an Al-anon member.
Your concern is valid. We have to protect the children. Maybe you should start another group?
__________________
Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
I am fairly sure that there would be guidelines as to behaviour and expectations of sponsors and persons who take Al-Ateen groups.
As well ...go with your instinct...if something feels not right you ...pay attention to your instinct.
"That's the way he is" sounds like an excuse to me....not good enough.
Sad but true, but we need to protect our children in all the places they are and that includes around recovering alcoholics and disturbed people in AA, Al-Ateen and Al-Anon.
AA members can be an alternate sponsor for Alateen groups . Hopefully he is a little more considerate to the teens who attend than he is to an adult ..If he makes an inapropriate comment to you again speak up and tell him you don't appreciate the way he talks to you . teens get to decide who they want to be sponsors so they must feel comfortable with him .. just my opinion Louise
Most of them do feel comfy with him, except one of my daughters. She told me she gets a funny feeling with him. I noticed one day after a meeting, he tried to get her on her own to talk to him as she was a bit off tap that day. She wouldn't go with him. I was relieved to see it with my own eyes. He was just trying to move her to a quieter area in the room where we all were. He wasn't trying to take her away to another room. She wouldn't go with him. I haven't said anything about him at all to my children.
I think there going to arrange a sponsors meeting to talk about it. A suggestion came up to maybe start another group, like what Wolfie said. One of the other sponsors wasn't happy that our children weren't there the other day.
