Dear Beyond, my sister suffered from alcoholism during her short life. I've been punched in the face two times in my life, both times by an addict/alcoholic I loved. They can definitely stir up the most primal emotions in people who love them. It sounds like you're feeling the full range of emotions that come when we live intertwined with rampant spiritual dis-ease. When loved ones are fully engaged in the madness of this dis-ease it can feel like a whirlpool, or a black hole which tries to suck everything into itself. It's taken me three years in recovery to realize that my own quality of life is very, very, very important and worth protecting. I'm glad to find your message here on an Alanon message board. You are most definitely in the right place. Many of us here have felt what you are feeling, and know what you are going through. As we like to say: Keep coming back. It's really helped me. The week I started Alanon, I was gunning my gas pedal on the freeway trying to rear-end the car in front of me, because I was so furious about the insanity I was living with (my loved one's substance abuse, and our resulting lifestyle). Alanon immediately brought me some relief from the rage, pain, fear, confusion and depression I felt. Luckily, I stuck around and my life is very different today than back then. Best luck to you and your brother. You each have your own path to walk in this life. Blessings to you and congratulations for reaching out here for help. You're worth it!

Hi there, I am glad you found us at MIP. Your share reminds me of a few people in my life and the chaos that has come with their disease. I am hoping you can make it to a local face to face Al-anon meeting. These meetings and finding a sponsor have saved my life that was riddled with drama and misery, but is now serene and peaceful for the most part. I was an enabler and a people pleaser to my own detriment, now I have learned about boundaries and dettachment. The book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews taught me what is mine to worry about and what is theirs. My daily readers remind me to take care of me and to hand over the worries I have no control over. Keep coming back you are so worth it!!! I am sending you love and support on your journey!

Welcome, youre in the right place!!!

The "Sticky: Why Alcoholism is "categorized" as a disease by AMA" that Betty posted above has helped me so very much.

You can attend Al-Anon and listen, you can introduce yourself if youd like, you can talk if youd like. No one should force you to share if you do not want to. I cried at my first three meetings but I never felt forced to share or like I had to let people know my dirty laundry. I started sharing more with people openly.. now that my mind has stilled a bit and I have a trusted sponsor, I find its best for me to share all with her, I have learned that it is best for me, to just talk with her about the intimate things. But these are safe outlets to talk openly and no one is judging you. I recommend you get to a meeting, they are different than people realize.