The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
really really enjoyed my f2f alanon meeting last night. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. I would take up the rest of message boards. I felt a lot of peace at the meeting. Unbelieveable!! I felt less crazy! which is always a good thing.
I feel like texting my AH and telling him i am sorry for some of the things that i have said lately just to be mean to him because i felt that he deserved it.
Also Alanon suggests "working the 12 steps." How does one work the 12 steps exactly? I would appreciate any advice on this subject?
Also, when all of this happened it seemed that I was running from one crisis to the next. A lot of it was due to me not trusting him. I made things really bad for him just to protect myself and my kids. I am wondering if those were good decisions or not now?
You did the best you could with the tools you had in place at the time. Instead of running out and doing all the steps .. LOL .. totally normal .. get a sponsor, take a breath and know that you are a beautiful work in progress. It just gets better from here.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
That's wonderful news! Alanon's Paths to Recovery book is a good choice for working the 12 steps of Alanon. A chapter is devoted to each of the steps with questions you can answer concerning the step and then experience strength and hope from Alanon members concerning that step. Working the steps with a sponsor can be a great experience but choosing a sponsor takes time and thought. Some meetings have lists of members who are willing to sponsor others. I wanted to make sure I chose someone who had time for me. I called people in Alanon for awhile when I needed to share and eventually asked one of those women if she would sponsor me with the understanding that if either of us felt it wasn't a good sponsor/sponsee match we would tell the other. Well it worked out great and even though I've moved away we have stayed program friends and keep in touch. When I share my recovery story, she is always a very important part of it as is my current sponsor. I am very grateful for so many gifts I've received from my higher power and this program. Keep coming back.... you're worth it! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I'd encourage you to breath, keep going to meetings, and get some recovery under your belt - before you jump right to apologizing for all your actions.... if your A is still active, he's more than likely to manipulate those apologies.... even if he isn't, there is plenty of time to figure out exactly how you feel about everything, including what you want to make amends for...
Keep coming back, and glad you loved your meeting
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Oh, I am so glad for you! I took some time to find a sponser and start working the steps. I felt like there was so much I wanted to absorb, so much i wanted to let go...the journey is different for each person. Please be gentle on yourself and easy on yourself in thinking about how you have handled this all. Living with alcoholism is painful and confusing, and we do the best with what we have. It only gets better from here. Keep coming back!
So glad that it went well. I would make it to lots of meetings and find a sponsor and then start the steps and take it a day at a time before you jump into your inventory list. Keep up the good work!!!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
((ttpurtee))) ¨..some of the things that i have said lately just to be mean to him because i felt that he deserved it¨ I can SO relate to that! I used to take it personally, like A's drinking was somehow aimed towards me as an ¨I don't care what you think, I'm going to do what I want!¨ Since i realized it IS a disease, that helped me to have compassion for him. I came to realize the drinking is no fun for him, it's something he HAS to do. I WISH I could go to F2F alanon meetings but there are none around here. I'm glad you have meetings to go to. As far as the trust thing-when someone abuses our trust, it's hard to get it back. I suggest paying attention to actions, more than words.
Love my Wednesday night F2F meetings. I have just started, but it's so apparent this is just what I needed. Made me realize so much about ME. They have given me books to get started on the steps, so helpful and years of wisdom and experience. I love the daily reading books and I have just started the Paths to Recovery.
