The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I am going through the mental process of deciding whether to stay or go from my AH, I have started to think to myself "what would I do, or be doing, if he was not around?", funny thing is I often can't come up with anything.
My life has become so small dealing with him that I really don't know what I would do. So my goal during this time is to envision my life alone, what would I do, where would I go, how would I spend my time, and then to do those things (that I can) while still with him. I don't really have a list yet but I'm thinking about it. I figure this way, whether I stay or go, I am starting to LIVE again. It's a bit weird but for me the next logical step before I leave, and if we can work this out and stay together I am still ahead of the game. Just some Sunday morning thoughts over coffe! I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday. sg
I needed to be careful because I did not feel that I could spend money on my Needs or Wants--there was always something more important .
I began small-- walking. meeting program people for tea, yoga class, Gym membership at the local Y , Book Club at the Library. I still enjoy those activities and many more
when I decided to start to focus on myself and accepted te things I could not chnge my life has become more manageable. I have moved into a new house and decorated it to my liking. I have a new job. I have been focusing on my recovery ad feel more spiritually well.
I have started exercising as I am in the menopause and I am piling on the weight. My sister in law i due to have my first niece in next day or so I plan to enjoy her. and most of all I have been having quality time with my children and family. My abf is slipping and sliding has been in AA 3 years, but my life is improving GOOD FOR YOU sounds like you are working your programme hugs tracy xx
This is a big issue for me as well surfgirl :) Hugs :)
Starting small is huge, finding things that you like to do is a great step in the right direction. I've discovered I like to spend one night a week cooking for 4 - 5 nights then I have more time with the kids. I enjoy my time alone because I will give myself a facial or soak my feet in hot epson salt water, give myself a pedicure or a manicure .. it's really about spending that time with myself as well as my thoughts to keep me out of my spinning thought process. I set the pace and I find what works for me. I keep saying this .. lol .. however exercise is on my list!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Great post and lots of support to you!! I have recently separated from the A and have found myself reconnecting with friends that I haven't been seeing due to the relationship and also enjoying peace and calm surroundings. I am walking more, eating differently and overall taking care of myself better. I feel calmer, less nerves and worry. I am also thinking of starting Tae Kwon Do. Something I would never have considered before. When I was in the relationship, my recovery was not as good as now. Now I have time to focus on me, decide what I want to do and my life does not revolve around the alcoholic.
