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I am glad your wife is so trusting. I had a male counselor for a long time and we met at his home, but his wife was usually around upstairs. I have heard of some crazy opposite sex sponsor situations though and I am grateful that he was able to help me. Keep up the good work!
-- Edited by Breakingfree on Sunday 19th of February 2012 12:10:51 PM
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Got a funny story. Got to share it with you. It happened a few weeks ago. I've already mentioned in other posts that sponsorship is a big part of my program. And although I know men are supposed to sponsor men and women are supposed to sponsor women, I sponsor anyone who's willing to do the work required to recover. So, I sponsor a lot of women.
I'm married, and happily so. I know this is Al-anon but if happen to read the AA Grapevine on a regular basis, you've probably read some of the stories I've written about my wife. She's a wonderful woman of that there is no doubt but like most wonderful women she can get bent out of shape when she perceives that another woman may pose a threat to our idyllic life. So I try to set boundaries. One of those boundaries is that I don't have women she hasn't met or hasn't given the stamp of approval to in our home when she isn't there.
On this particular morning I was making lunch for myself. I like homemade pizza. I especially like it on flatbread or pita bread. So I'm whipping myself up some pizza. Now, if I made one pizza and put it in the oven, the cookie sheet I have it on would scorch on one side so just to be on the safe side, I made two pizzas.
About 11 am, the phone rings. One of the young ladies I had just started to sponsor called and wanted to go to the noon meeting. I said sure I'll meet you there. She says, hey I'm actually in the neighbourhood maybe I can stop by and we can go together. Now, my wife Nancy is her name hasn't met this young lady yet and hasn't given her the stamp of approval so I know this might not be the greatest of ideas. So I suggest she hop in a cab, come to my place, I'll hop in the cab too and we can go to the meeting together. Sounded like a good plan.
So I'm waiting on the deck for her to arrive and who should show up early and unexpected from work. None other than my wife Nancy. I saw her pull in and I said, "Great. Now I don't need to worry about it." The young lady's cab pulls up, Instead of getting in as pre-arranged, I pay the fare and we go inside the house to wait for Nancy. Seemed ok to me.
Nancy tells the story differently. She comes home early from work to find her husband on the deck. He sees her pull in, says "Oh great!" Then a lady half her age whom she doesn't recognize shows up in a cab. Her husband pays for the cab, invites the young lady into her house and when Nancy comes in, she notices that there's lunch for two in the oven.
It took quite a lot of maneuvering to keep from sleeping on the couch that night. Its all about perspective.
Well the thing to keep in mind is your boundaries. I always try to set them and enforce them. I think Nancy's biggest concern isn't me, its them. Hence I try to avoid situations where I am alone with lonely, vulnerable, codependent women who are craving attention, or a compliment and might mistake the love I offer for a different kind of love. I would have mistaken it as a newcomer. And yes Wolfie and Twisted are one and the same.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
