Ahhhhh Pushka...HP needed an instrument to work with me today and you were it!!  Bet you didn't even know.

This is what I read this morning before going out into the day...Wasn't in a very good mental, emotional, spiritual or physical place cause the worry and fear and past and future were having their way with me and I was playing along...but...I took the message out with me and went to work and went to work with my program.  Got out of the future and away from the past...did my forgiveness and acceptance exercises and layed my crystal ball out of the way.  Worked the self acceptance and self love and focused on the work (dirty and wet) of caring for my client's property and focused on doing it slow and well and then I felt it...that real secure and peaceful feeling of hope and I said "Mahalo" "Thank You" cause my HP was fully there...there can and will be a surprise ending and I don't know what it will be and my mind, body, spirit and emotions got healthy very fast and the voices in my head all left for who cares where and the rain stopped and all I needed to to was take my tools back home, get a shower and shave and have dinner with my spouse.   It gets better and I get to recommend what comes next.

Get three big scoops of Pineapple upside down Cake ice cream and don't drizzle but rain some Herseys Chocolate over the top of it and then a couple of scoops of lightly salted dry roasted peanuts and go sit in front of the TV and watch "The Big Bang Theory" and forget the calories and laugh until your butt falls off!!  And then because the ice cream chilled me, like it always does, I went and got my favorite TV blankie...the one with fleece on one side and suede on the other and curled up with the pups and continued to laugh.  And of course I thought of you guys (LOL) cause I wished that you all would be feeling like I am...happy, joyous and free.  What a great surprise ending to the bad start of a perfectly good day.

Pushka...go read the "Servants Prayer" which starts out, "Lord make me an instrument of thy peace..."

Such a great 2nd and 3rd step don't cha agree...(((((hugs)))))

Big Hugs Jerry :)

Ahhh .. my brother from another mother I am so humbled this was of use to you!!!! Much peace to you my friend!!

I have to ask .. where can I find the Servants Prayer? Is it in the BB of AA?

Hugs P :)

Awww I love how Hp uses each of us! Yes I do love Pushka my sister from another Mr! Jerry F something you have said lately is resonating in me, to wake up and ask God for his will for me today and to be his instrument. It has helped me to be at peace.

Get down with the flow of life by being present. That's what I hear in the first message in this post. Grateful recovering (emphasis on the ING verb part) member for three years here, finding myself waking into reality through daily practice and desire. I feel so very different today than three year ago in terms of sanity and peace. It has come incrementally, two steps forward, 1.98 steps back, and slowly this slight progress has taken me to a really nice life. I appreciate the comments on time: let go of the fantasies of the past and future. Doing this everyday during meditation, I become more and more aware of being plugged into HP life force in the Here and Now, being willing to wake up more and more into reality. Time feels more and more like a human-made concept, a fantasy I may release. The reward of keeping an open mind about this and following HP's guidance that I feel in my stomach during daily meditation, is waking more fully into the present (the present IS a gift). It is always perpetually Now. This program work has helped me shed many habits based on spiritual dis-ease passed down through my family tree. As I understand shame and fear, where it comes from, and become willing to open my eyes to see myself more realistically, I realize my simple fear of being alive turned my gaze towards escapism through fantasizing about the past and future, hence, escaping from being Alive (escaping from the present). This recovery work is like a snake with its tail in its mouth, the last beat is the first, etc.

Long story short, as I practice Alanon everyday, through prayer & meditation, through meetings, through sponsor calls, through working the steps, through writing gratitude lists, I'm slowly gain a better understanding of myself, am inch by inch from fears and apprehensions I felt but did not understand. now on a deeper level, I'm more clearly getting in touch with HP daily, sensing the flow of life, and flowing with Her, so much easier than trying to control the uncontrollable. As I see myself as interconnected and part of the Great Flow, I also see my ego in its true perspective. Less ego oriented me = more strength and opportunity available in my life. Funny how release from the bondage of self works. Trippy stuff here in Al-Anon land.

Grateful for this message board y'all. I missed my meeting yesterday because I was lucky enough to have my little niece to spend the evening with instead. But committed to my sponsor that I would pick up any missed meetings by attending other ones or online forums. So shout out and thanks to all participating here. You have helped me, and I hope to do the same with you.