(((WOMFI))) Welcome to MIP, so glad you found this place. I truly believe it is a place of miracles. I'm so sorry to hear what's happened and what you are going through. But I'm happy to hear you've gotten out and and taken steps to protect yourself from the physical abuse.
¨I am so mad, disappointed, and heartbroken.¨ I think everyone on this board can relate to those feelings. I've pretty much learned to get past the anger and disappointment, but I sometimes still feel the heartache. On the other hand, I am doing so much better for myself since I found this place. I hope you will read other posts and replies, there is a lot of wisdom and support here. You are not alone, please keep coming back.

Wow, so sorry to hear about what you're going through! As your name says, 'you're mrs fix it' and maybe it's time to step back and stop fixing. The only reason I say this is because that's my problem, too. Right now I'm trying very hard to control myself from jumping in with 2 feet to 'fix' my husband's DUI. It is so hard, but with the tools of Al Anon I have learned that I can take a step back and let him be responsible(or not responsible) for himself. He's an adult and needs to be given the dignity to make his own choices, whether they be good or bad. As for the bills, if they were in my name, too, I'd probably be trying to pay them just because they'd affect MY credit and I want to keep that intact. I will be praying for you and I am so glad you are here!

 

 

Aloha Mrs. Fix it and welcome to the board from this side of the planet.  Actually I found out there is no way to fix the diseased person.  Alcoholism is a compulsion of the mind and allergy of the body, mind, spirit, emotions, family, finances, everything.  I had to learn as much as I could about what it was that was taking my wife and me and the family out without any consideration to how we were affected and felt about it.  Alcoholism is a chemical dependency and it doesn't stop until those who are affected stop...both the drinker and those connected...This is your stop...showing up at MIP and listening to others who have been where you are at now and who have learned another way of responding in a diseased invironment.  Your thoughts, feelings and reactions are NORMAL for where you are at they are temporary if you will to learn what we have.  I learned most of what I live today from inside the face to face meetings of the Al-Anon Family Groups.  I learned a ton and coming to understand means relaxation from the consequences of the disease...anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, shame and lots more.   I also studied up on the chemical disease and the processes of it...how it affects the mind, body, spirit and emotions.  I learned about early stage alcoholism and late stage also...Sorry to say your husband sounds like he is entering late stage which presents itself with insanity, hospital visits, loss of personal management and control of the drinking and more.  late stage is the near fatal stage of alcoholism which is a compulsion of the mind and allergy of the body which can never be cured and only arrested by total abstinence from alcohol (and mind and mood altering drugs).   I had to learn all of this as I watched my wife compulsively move toward her death until she had her spiritual awakening and entered rehabilitation.  By that time we had lost everything except each other and I was powerless and needed to recovery myself.  I don't know if she is alive or dead today because we lost our marriage and still she was when we parted and she was more beautiful a woman than she was when we got together.

There is a Higher Power and I believe with you that your's got you here. Listen to the Experience Strength and Hope of this fellowship and follow thru on their suggestions based upon how it works for them and you can have the peace of mind and serenity that we often find whether he is drinking or not.

Welcome...sit down, read, listen, learn and practice, practice, practice...this is what I was told to do and I still do it.

(((((hugs)))))

II very much relate to your share. I have been going to face to face meetings and they have changed my life. I didn't leave my exah until I finally was scared of him physically. That was almost 2 years ago and life has been less dramatic ever since. I. Am sending you love and support!

Hi WOMFI. You have done well to find this place. The last few years this board has been a lifeline whilst my husband sunk lower and lower into the depths of alcoholism, finally losing his life to this horrible disease last August. The support I have received on this board and in the chatroom has been phenomenal and I will be eternally grateful.

You have also done well in leaving. I chose to stay but the last few years were hell for me and my adult children. It was not easy and in the end I'm glad I did stay (we would have been married 40 years last month) but I'm not sure I would recommend it! Cetainly, if he had been physically abusive I definitely would have got him out or removed myself but the verbal abuse I suffered was incredibly hurtful. In the end it is a very personal decision and no-one can tell you what you should do. I can though, fully recommend coming in here where there are people who understand what you are going through - most of us have walked in your shoes. And the support is both humbling and awesome.

Good luck, friend.

Tish xxx

I love, love, love that your son asked you to go to a meeting with him, and no, you don't sound crazy. We take things one day at a time, without knowing what each new day will bring us--anything is possible. Please keep posting, and you and your family are in my prayers. Take care!