"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

peacewithin · Veteran Member

Breaking Down

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

TThanks for sharing. Have you "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, that book was very helpful to me. Also face to face meetings and my sponsor have helped me so much. I now have a different and better outlook on my life. Keep coming back!

-- Edited by Breakingfree on Thursday 16th of February 2012 08:07:28 AM

DreamXL · Senior Member

I feel for you, please keep coming back and hopefully you can get to some meetings. You will know when enough is enough, hang in there :)

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

If this doesn't seem apt, please disregard,but I wonder what there is in it for you in staying with your A? There must be something or you wouldn't still be with him, is that right? It's a choice you make -- so what are the reasons behind that choice? Is there something to appreciate there? If the stress is greater than the reward, maybe it's time to rethink being with him. If the rewards outweigh the stress, maybe it would be the time to focus on the rewards? From what you say, I don't see many rewards, so I'd guess that either they're not in focus or there aren't many any more. Just something to think about, from the way I see it. We always have choices.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi

I hear your pain and understand the hopeless feeling. It is very important to break the isolation caused by this disease so that increasing your attendance at face to face meetings is essential.

Really glad that you are looking at the Steps and are attempting to use the tools. This disease wants us "dead" as well so that we cannot recover alone. A sponsor is a great asset to guide you in your recovery Please give that to yourself

Use the tools, be gentle with yourself and make no major life changes for the next 6 months. Keep using the program tools and wait for clarity

You are worth it

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

Don't apologize for posting... we are here for that reason. I have used this board so many times when I felt the way youre describing. There is hope. Try to soak up al-anon, get your nose in the literature, and go to as many meetings as possible is my advice. you are not alone in this.

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

The cool thing about our program is that we can always start back up, exactly where we need to be..... All of us revert to step one..... OFTEN....

The one point you made, really hits home for me.... this is one that IS in your control, and is something that you can do, for you, to show YOU that you are worthy..... Start small if you want, but plan something, starting TODAY, simply for your own pleasure... A walk in the park, reading a (non-recovery) book, a bubble bath, a workout at the gym - something that YOU want to do... just for you..... As you start this, try to incorporate it into your daily routine.... Cut out a piece of time for YOU, each and every day..... It all helps

What are you doing for fun, enjoyment and pleasure ? Nothing Really.

Tom

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Look at all those thoughts you have! You may not know it but you are working the program!

Sometimes it takes some real honestly about our situation to help us decide how to make it better.

It is very ok to take a break too. Be good to you,what do you do to find your serenity?

hugs,debilyn

peacewithin · Veteran Member

Thanks Everyone !
So glad I have a place to come to when ever I need It.
I'm doing better today "One Day At A Time " I feel the breath of fresh air !
I think its because I see a clearer picture now and what I want. I just needed
to write it down to people who understand what I'm going through. I never
It could get this bad... How the A get worse and worse.

Peace & Love,
DEB

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

If it makes you feel any better step 1 is never done .. I have to end my day there and start it again in step 1. Then there is the almost hourly visit to step 1 on some days. That's so ok .. being powerless opens my eyes to new choices and different decisions.

Hugs P :)

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

At my meeting yesterday someone said something awesome and I thought of you, DEB... she said "sometimes I think I am making no progress but I just keep going to meetings and it seems like information and wisdom just seeps into my brian some how because all the sudden a few weeks later I will have much more strength than I did weeks before and I wont know where it came from." She went on to compare it to losing weight.. if you always step on the scale every day you see no change, but if youre working out and eating healthy and you get on the scale a month from now all the sudden you dropped six pounds. Hang in there and do the next right thing for you.

orchidlover · ~*Service Worker*~

I have been going through my own hard time at work where I feel powerless and sometimes incredibly triggered by various situations. Detaching under pressure is such a difficult thing to do.

For me the irony is that some of what helps is to do a gratitude list every day. In my life I have a person ( a friend) who I send a gratitude list to every day. There were many many days this past month when what I shared was how incredibly difficult it was to be grateful when I felt abused, lost and confused. Nevertheless I got support, care and understanding and that eventually brought me around.

I know all about financial uncertainity. I have gone through my own really bad spell lately and that's brought up a lot of resentment for me and a lot of self recriminiation. I had no plan be and I needed one. Now I have to put one in place.

For me one of the real gifts of al anon is to know my limits. When I'm up against them I am reminded I'm at my limit I need to take a break from this. I can allow myself that instead of push myself into spates of self destruction and self loathing. We are allowed to have limits here. An alcoholic has few limits that is part of their disease. We get to have them.

My heart goes out to you about the money, the struggle and the feeling of tremendous resentment towards the alcoholic That is such a tremendous challenge to be up against. I know I have struggled tremendously with it. I have had to really work on regrouping and being willing to look at the person who has caused me all these problems rather than look just at my own wounding.

I'm so glad you are here. At one time I posted here day and night. I never felt I was a nuisance and I got so much support and love and care. We are here for you.

Maresie.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"