The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm doing fine these days with emotional detachment with my AH, and being physically separated helps a lot, but the financial mess that my AH has created is not allowing me to stay on "my side of sidewalk." I can't just mind my own business and just work on myself when it comes to the IRS, our home that we are fighting to keep while in litigation with the mortgage company, and creditors that my husband owes due to the loss of his business.
I had to get hire a tax attorney- and had to call in sick at work so that I could go to my first meeting today. This financial xxxx is now affecting my employment, along with my serenity. I can no longer hide from it. As my lawyer said today, "this is a monster that is getting bigger and is not going to just go away."
I am so angry and hurt right now. I did not cause this. I pay my bills. I don't lie to the IRS about my income. This is a mess that I cannot ignore and that I have to get help with. I'm thankful that I have legal insurance that I pay for through my work. I am praying to my HP to help me through all of this. I feel so alone and so scared today. Thanks for letting me blow off some steam here on this board.
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 13th of February 2012 10:01:25 PM
Hugs gg, I just want to send you love and support. The saying none if my business, .. Well when it comes to my financial well being or the kids. it absolutely is my business. It is about what is your boundary, what works for you and your situation and no one else has any right to judge what is best for you. I can imagine how upset you must be and how hard you work such a strong program of recovery. Thinking of you during this difficult time, hugs p ;)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
My AH and I had to claim bankruptcy...I had to wait for that to finalize to divorce him because we could not afford 2 bankruptcy lawyers and 2 divorce lawyers. So we filed bankruptcy together.
Now that our finances are separated (mostly) the serenity I feel is immense. In a previous thread we talked about all the financial "surprises" that happen with As. Spending sprees, lying, hidden credit cards....Now, for the most part, I am free of that...but it took nearly 2 years to move through it. Now I just have to find a way to protect my children and their xmas money...because yes, he has stooped that low...and taken it from them.
Hang in there...you are headed across that bridge to the other side!
Wow- this was sent to me in a daily inspiration email today:
Who wouldn't be scared if their entire life came crashing in around them? The problem with fear is not being scared, that's normal. The problem is acting on fear. That's when fear becomes a lousy strategy.
Here is a better strategy: hope. Hope is not about ignoring the reality of being afraid. It is not some mind-psych game you play to pretend you are not afraid. Hope is acknowledging your fear and then making a decision to totally trust God. It is putting the fear into God's hands and allowing Him to carry it for you, relieving you of the burden. The fundamental ingredient of hope is trust. It is about trusting that God has not, and never will, abandon you. It is trusting that He is walking with you through this extremely painful, lonely, and discouraging time in your life.
Great timing. I needed this message tonight. I need to give my fear to my HP.
Thanks Pushka and rehprof, your support in appreciated.
