The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The answer to your question is that you have been living with the disease of alcoholism and have become adversely affected . Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions and we become confused and lost. in the process. Alanon program and the members who have lived it understand as few others can.
There is hope and recovery available. I am so glad you found this Board and I would like to suggest that you check out alanon face to face meetings in your community The listing can be found in the white page,
Attending meetings keeping an open mind, breaking the isolation enables us to again obtain clarity on our situations and open new solution to problems that once confused us
(((lazykat))) It has NOTHING to do with anyhting you did or didn't or don't do. One of the things I learned here that I believe to be true is the three C's: You didn't cause his drinking You can't control his drinking You can't cure his drinking. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you will keep coming abck, you are NOt alone.
Hope you keep coming back, .. just wanted to extend a welcome and let you know that you aren't alone. You have already received great ESH, sending love and support, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Oh man, I could answer that question my way, but every one else has their reasons too. My reason is because everything that happened in my house was my responsibility. I even took on the responsibility of managing an alcoholic. If I could be just a little nicer, keep the house a little cleaner, manage the kids more, cook better meals, have a better job, become a millionaire, be a wizard...... I could do it all!! I had to learn responsibilities.... who was responsible for what. Well, I am responsible for me and he is responsible for him. Normal people know this. But we are affected by the family disease of alcoholism. We take on way too much..... and the alcoholics in our lives like it that way.
I been there its not you I was like Mary Jane If I could do it better, clean cook better, love stronger,work harder, make more money. But I did realize I have to do things to make me happy , and its not selfish to do that. Hes doing it to himself. I'm not making him drink.
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I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could not do alone.
There is nothing more I can say since you already received great ESH. I will jsut add that I can relate, I understand completely. I used to think it was matter of love.. if you loved you would quit... am I not loveable? what did I do wrong... Then I realized it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me. My husband does love me. He has a disease and needs recovery just as I need recovery for my thoughts of self pity, anger, resentment, etc. I found hope in al-anon. Welcom and keep coming back!!!! You ARE in the right place and youre always welcome here. Face to face meetings are very very helpful.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Welcome Lazzy. It is much easier for alcoholics who are in denial to blame others for their unacceptable behavior than to confront it head on themselves. When my AH was active there would constantly be someone "interfering with my sobriety." Of course it really didn't matter what anyone did or didn't do, it was one excuse after the next. Just remember the 3 c's and know that you have nothing to do with it. Stay strong and keep coming back!
