The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
On a popular social networking site I had a friend making a remark that a well known singer who died after a long struggle with addiction should have seen that coming. It seemed cold to me. Normally I'd ignore it, but given my own experiences with deeply loving somone who suffers from Addiction and watching his demise of who he is, I felt compelled to respond. This is what I said...
Without going into detail, I have personally witnessed the demise of life in someone I love, due to addiction. While some believe addiction is a choice, there are others of us who know that it is a disease that slowly encapsulates a person's entire character and being. They say that Addiction is progressive and will kill a person who doesn't find recovery. This is obviously the case with {this woman} (and millions of others across the world who suffer). Why do I care if you think that {this woman} is a useless crackhead who should have seen death coming?? I don't know. Maybe because I continually deal with my own sadness about Addiction. It takes perfectly good people and ruins them, hurting all of those around them who love and care for them. If {this woman} was my sister, my friend, my Aunt, my cousin ... I'd want people to know, she wasn't just a crackhead, she was so much more, and she was reduced to a shell of what she really was, at the hands of Addiction. Just like someone who is reduced to a shell of who they are at the hands of cancer. I'm sure you'd agree it would seem cruel to say, "Why are people surprised about {John Smiths}death?? He was a Cancer-head!"
Same thing - different disease. Just a different perspective my friend...
I just love how you left "this woman" anonymous in your post because of our spiritual foundation.... it just doesn't matter who we are, we are all tied to this spiritually. This disease just does not care what our education is, how much money we make, how famous we are... it just wants to take us down.
I just want to add, it is my experience that we al-anons have this same disease. So many of us become so depressed that we fantasize about leaving this planet too, or we think we're not important enough to remove ourselves from dangerous situations by tolerating abuse, or by letting the alcoholic drive us... the disease confuses us so much that we just don't think right.... our "thinking" disease.....
Anyway thank you for the post. I'm sad with you.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Rora, I have had similar conversations with friends who don't understand addiction. To them it is a matter of being weak, and anyone who dies from their addiction somehow deserved it. I did my best to explain my point of view from my experience. You said it much better than I was able to. Good for you for expressing your beliefs! (And at the same time, maybe planting a small seed of understanding in those who didn't know any better.) Thanks for sharing.
I think you explained that very well. I have these troubles at my work too. Its that people are so uneducated on the matter and its sad, but it is what it is. Maybe you made someone think enough to want to think before they speak. also on this social network site there is a way to unsubscribe to posts from people, so you are still their friend but you no longer have to view their news for the day.. just so you know... ;0)
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
This was discussed in my AA meeting this morning. We end meetings with a prayer to "the still sick and suffering" and I think that often involves casualties of stardom and fame because of several reasons. Their money allows them to progress further into substance abuse before hitting rock bottom (so the rock bottom is more likely to be death) and also they can never truly be anonymous because paparazzi will follow them even to an AA or NA meeting. Being famous seems like a dream, but in that aspect, it would severely limit my recovery.
I have found that ignorance does not always mean bliss. I find the more educated I become on any topic the more able I am to be empathetic or understanding as opposed to harshly judgmental. I will say that there are also cases where I discover I want nothing to do with something after educating myself.
We here are all too familiar with the disease of addiction. I have learned so much from my F2F meeting and this board, and I am thankful!!
