The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. Well, Im proud to say that today is the anniversary of my one year in AlAnon. I didn't go into it willingly, and sometimes its really hard to get to a meeting when Ive shut the world out, but Im pretty proud of myself for the progress that Ive made in just one year.
On the other hand, Im having a difficult night. The ex abf and I have been hanging out and talking to develop a friendship so that hopefully we could get back into a relationship. Things start to seem good, then they go right back down again. Usually I can stay out of it pretty well and separate him from the disease, but tonight I cant. He's out with his friends...many of whom are girls I do not approve of because of trust issues. But I cant control him. Im trying so hard to focus on myself and my reaction to his disease...but it is so difficult because here I am a year later, and he hasn't changed one bit. Can be very frustrating, but Im really, really trying here guys
Congratulations on your one-year anniversary! That's big!
I got back together with my A so many times I can't count them. Each time I thought things would be different because I was wiser and could handle everything, and also my new wisdom was enough to make the whole dynamic different. What I discovered in my case is that alcoholism is powerful, more powerful than I could have imagined. Each time he was the same. Each time the familiar pain of all the problems came back. I have a dysfunctional memory and I'd forget the pain or discount it. But the thing about alcoholism is that it always reminds you. I returned to him the way he returned to alcohol. Ouch. So in my case, I couldn't make it work. It sounds as if you're experiencing some of the familiar pain so you know enough to judge the situation with all the information. Keep on taking good care of yourself.
Congrats on your one year anniversary!! That's a big one!!
Be gentle with yourself, it's not easy to love someone who's not in a position to love back. They want to, think they know how to, however they just can't really. Be sure to take care of you!
Sending you love, hope, and support, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
congrats! And remember, Progress, not perfection. A year in this amazing program is something to be proud of, and you now have so much more than you did a year ago to handle whatever comes your way with your ex and anyone else...sending you support on YOUR journey as you make your way through this learning and growing proces...big hug and a cake for you!
Awesome work :) HUGS! My loved one said when he was out using/drinking that he loved me, but he was really sick. For me, in my situation, things did change when I wanted to end my addiction to the chaos, then somehow we both began to change for the better... Take care of you :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Congratulations on your anniversary. It sounds like you have come a long way. Of course it's frustrating when dealing with the ups and downs of someone else's behavior, and you are doing a really good job keeping your focus. BTW - I am crazy about corgis - I find them to be the most awesome and wonderful creatures :) I hope they can provide you with some relief and can be an adorable diversion from thoughts of worry and frustration. Hugs, nyc
