The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been praying about this for some time now, and I've told my sponsor about it, yesterday I strongly felt it when I heard a family friend is having a party for their daughter who recently was appointed a superior judge, our children are around the same age, my first thought was "they want to brag" and I'm invited to a wedding shower today, I asked my sis. what she was getting her, she said x amt of money, I asked if she was going to give her a wedding gift also, she said yes! and the same amt. I said I don't like having to give 2 gifts, esp. that amt. I felt ashamed for feeling that way, because I believe I'm in a better financial place than she is, and she is really not a close friend. I know I've choices about attending either of these events. But, what is wrong with me? I can't seem to get over the fact that my kids suffer from the disease of A/A, I'm still ashamed and hurt about it. There is more I could say, I'm going, hoping no one ask me about my daughter's 7y.o. daughter who lives 4+ hrs away with her dad, we haven't seen her since Dec. my heart is breaking about it, she sound so sad when I talk to her on the phone, and ask me to bring her mom to see her, I want to see her very badly, but don't want to be responsible to taking my daughter to see her. You may be able to hear the anger I'm feeling toward my daughter. Anyway I'm hoping for a blessed day and wish the same for you all!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
I hear you and understand. You are being very human. Naturally, when we see others succeed and be happy we compare our own situation and mourn what might have been
You did the right thing. You told on yourself, examined your motives and then took the high road
(((hugs))) I am curious, what did your sponsor say?
You aren't doing anything I haven't done, that's for sure. My anger coming out sideways....
I had a great meeting on steps 6/7 yesterday, a member shared that there were times she realized she wasn't REALLY telling God she was "entirely ready," it was more like hesitantly offering a friend some of her lunch...... "You want some???"
....but in her head, wanting to wrap her arms around it, LOL!!
I could sooo relate. She went on to say, that sometimes she just wants God to remove the fallout - the FEELINGS the defect is causing.... and not really remove the defect itself. I get that. I do that. I know I have to find the defect "completely objectionable" before I will ask God to remove it... the humility is to ask. To say, I don't want to be like this anymore.
I am grateful for your share, and glad I am not alone.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Thank you all for the prayers and support. I did have a wonderful time at the bridal shower. I forget sometime about acceptance, my sponsor reminded me of this and keeping God really big in my life. I feel good today and realize I can chose my thoughts and most of the things I worry about never happen.
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
