a question about a higher power? - Al-Anon Family Group

daisy31 · Veteran Member

a question about a higher power?

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Do you have a sponsor? The other thing is do you attend a step meeting? I find those two things really make a big difference to me as I work through my steps and my program. It also helps me get unstuck when I do get stuck into something, be it stinking thinking or needing to reason things out for myself.

Most importantly keep sharing, keep asking questions and keep coming back, hugs P :)

Lindaoakford · ~*Service Worker*~

No one can tell you what to believe in.
For me, I tried all sorts of different thoughts and beliefs until I found something that 'sat right' with me.

I don't have a HP that is a person that came to earth once and died and was born again or anything like that..... I don't have a dude that sat under a tree either....

For me, the higher power is all around me. It is the trees, the rocks, the people, the clouds, the universe... the stars....

some people believe we are already in hell... and heaven.. while we are here...

These are theological concepts that only you can answer for yourself.

I don't believe there is a heaven and hell so for me... I won't go to hell.. or heaven...

A higher power doesnt' have to be a 'god'.. it can be the total opposite.. your 'dog' (get it.. the words are the opposite) if you want it to be.

For now, to get started, just find a concept you are comfortable with. My Teddy was a great HP for a while there. That Teddy took care of many of my thoughts and absorbed lots of tears too. I handed a lot over to that furry yellow staring face.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Daisy

I too had difficulty identifying my HP . In the beginning I choose the alanon program and the tools as a" power greater than myself "and therefore my HP. This in no way discarded my religion and just provided me with access to my spiritual nature.

Gradually I found my HP and could identify the spiritual being that I could understand, trust and hold on to Long after that I returned to my religion and implemented my spiritual awareness to that belief and am enriched even more

Be gentle with yourself We are all works in progress.

glad lee · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Daisy, Great question!

When I came in, my old higher power had the characteristics of my alcoholic parents and the god of my childhood religion was equally as scary... it was "up there" somewhere... out there... over there... ANYWHERE but right here with me in tender loving friendship.

So I fired him.

And I invented a new one.

My sponsor told me to write down a list on paper, of all the things that I wanted my Higher power to be.

THAT was my new Higher power!! Hope this helps.

-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 3rd of February 2012 09:54:40 AM

danni · Senior Member

It took time for me too, but gradually, unbelievably, my faith did start to develop. I'm not even surewhen or how. I've been coming to Al Anon for a little over a year. I kept going to meetings and reading Courage to Change daily. I heard other's shares about their higher power with skepiticism and envy. I've learned that the "higher power" is different for each person. For some it is more of a traditional, but loving God. For some it is found in nature. I heard it once described as the power of everyone being together in a room for the meeting. Talking about it with my sponser helped. Beginning working on the steps (I'm on step 2) helped. I fought it, because I was worried I was fooling myself into something until I realized that this was a form of self sabatoge and negativity that was with me my whole life. I'm rambling. I guess I'll wrap up with Easy does it. Keep coming back, and be gentle with yourself and your process. Glad you are here and that you shared on this topic!

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

daisy, I feel very close to your share because I could have written it six months ago. Something happened to me and it started with me letting go of those societal expectations, the guilt, and the shame. That's how it began with me. I accepted that I just didn't and couldn't make myself believe what everyone expected me to believe. I accepted that God gave me a beautiful mind that questioned things and thought logically. I believe you are supposed to do the steps in order, however, for me, part of taking step 3 was working 4-7 because one of the character defects I worked through (I really feel good about this one now) was the shame, guilt, fear I had encircling my "religious/spiritual" beliefs. I put that in quotations because I had NONE! I absolutely had no faith. All I had was yearning to belong, yearning to have a relationship with God, but too much fear of what other's thought, and to much fear that God would punish me for my "unholy" thoughts. These thoughts for me included not believing precisely what I was raised I should and not believing what it seems our society mainly believes. What I learned is that there is no right or wrong. So when I was able to speak the words out loud (to my sponsor) that I did not believe certain things and that I gave my shame/guilt/fear to my HP... It was honestly a miracle to me. It is a miracle that I can type an entirely too long share about my spiritual beliefs now. My HP to me, now is much different than he ever was. HP is not punishing, in fact hes all forgiving and loving. There have been studies done that when the human mind believs in a loving/forgiving God rather than a punishing/scary God that people are happier and healthier. I completely believe these theories because I am living proof. I can feel my HP now. I do not believe I will ever fully understand HP in this life time. I don't think it is possible for the human mind to grasp the depth of it. I don't know what is to come and now that is okay with me because I believe, in my HP's care, I will always be okay, in this life or the next.

No one can tell you what to believe.. that is why, they call it "finding faith" you have to find it. We are here for you in your search, please keep sharing. One of the greatest times in my life has been these times when I was truly in search of my HP and, coincidentally, I found my faith.

daisy31 · Veteran Member

I am overflowing with emotion right now in reading the responses from you dear brothers and sisters here. Thank you so much everyone for opening your hearts with me about this topic of a higher power.

And Michelle, your post is exactly how I have felt for so so very long. My whole life I have felt so much shame encircling my religous/spiritual beliefs and like you-I was wanting to belong and worried what others thought and felt I would be punished. I have honestly tried so so so hard to read certain religous writings, and listen to different broadcasts on T.V. and I have always left it feeling so bad, confused, and lost and so so so lonely. My husband is in the AA program and I have always wanted to have his spiritual peace he has. What you wrote to me is exactly what my experience has been Michelle. I am literally in tears as I write this because I finally feel like I have found a key to unlock this place that I am in. When you say that there have been studies done I can totally see how that is to be true because for the past many months I have had low energy, and lots of pain. But this morning when I woke up and was getting my little boys ready for school I told myself that "I am FREE" and I put away all of my books and didn't turn a "certain channel" on on the TV and I just LET GO.....we had a wonderful morning. This has been the best day I have had in ages. I also love how you said " I accepted that God gave me a beautiful mind that questioned things and thought logically" that is so me...I question everything-the way you put it really makes me see that my mind is beautiful and it is okay.

I don't have a sponsor yet. I am so nervous to ask someone but I do really want to start the steps. I always just feel like I am a bother to people. But I know that I will learn to not feel that way. I am just so thankful that I am finally going to be free of the shame I have carried for so long....it honestly feels like a 100lb weight has been lifted off of my back. I am so excited to find my HP in my own time. This is the beginning of a beautiful journey now that I am no longer walking in shame.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Daisy I love your response. I used to walk around feeling judged and ashamed, but my face to face meetings have helped me get stronger. My sponsor helps me to not feel bothersome. You are headed in the right direction and have inspired me!

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