The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I made my second meeting this week. It was a small meeting, but it was great. The women there made me feel so welcome and they have been doing this for a LONG time. I feel they are really going to be helpful in getting me started with my program. One of the women gave me a copy of Courage to Change and a copy of One Day at a Time. So I have some daily reading material now. Feeling very positive and refreshed today. This is a new start for me, time to put the past away and look to the future. I can't change his "yesterdays" or mine. I can't hold on to the hurts and resentments. I can't keep looking at my mistakes or the "what if's" and "could have been's". But what I can do is start working my program, give it to my HP, and make MY today a good one!!
I know it's not as easy at is sounds. This is one tough mountain to climb. But I am ready and I have people that are willing to help me along the way. So I fell in love with an alcoholic...it's not the end of the world!
So glad you are here!!! Something that helped me when I started here on the boards was just saying to myself, I am powerless over people, places, things and the past (this is my add because I can't go back and fix a broken past and it constantly reminds me!). I am soooo grateful for that saying, it puts my brain to center without fail. I love the fact that when I admitted my powerlessness that it actually gave me more power. I no longer had to obsess over trying to "fix" someone else. It gave me permission to let go of perfection. If I am powerless there is a whole lot I can't do.
Anyway, please keep coming back it is so exciting to start this journey of alanon and see where things go!! It really does get better when you work a program of recovery!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Way to go! The best advice I got was to try different meetings until I found one I felt good with. It's funny how they each have their own vibe. For me I found one that I consider my home base, it's small and feels more intimate, which works well for me. But I like to mix it up sometimes. I realized that sometimes my overall mood of the week helps determine which meeting(s) I go to.
You know the saying "keep coming back it works if you work it". When I used to hear it at the end of the meetings I couldn't help but think how cheesy it was. But now that I've seen the changes in myself from the program I look forward to the end where we hold hands and say it.
Anyway, it's great that you are getting started on your journey. Good luck!
I will be going to two different meetings each week...mainly out of necessity but I think it's going to work out for the best. One is a fairly large meeting with a lot of different input and experiences. Where the other is more intimate where I think I will get a lot of one on one.
Stefani, great post. I love what you said "so I fell in love with an alcoholic, its not the end of the world." Thats how I feel today. I was feeling some resentments yesterday but now today I feel grounded. It is what it is, and I can't punish him for the past, I would not want him to continue to punish me for something I did six months ago. He knows he was wrong, what more can he do but work on today... and besides, what do I get out of it? Guilt, anger... its not worth it. Yesterday in a meeting I thought about how it could be so much worse. When I was not educated on alcoholism and addiction and he relapsed, I was so mad and took it all personally. I could have easily left him, but you know what would have happened to me, without al-anon and what I have learned about the disease.. I would have ended up with another addict alcoholic. I know i would have and this one may not have been so nice and cute. I have to count my blessings. I have to be grateful for what I have. I owe every morning I wake to my higher power and I need to remember that.. even when I want to scream because of finances or the past resentments (I like to refer to them as the resentment buoys because they pop up... all is calm and then they pop up out of the water.) It makes sense in my head. anyway. I have to remember that I am going to feel these feelings and that that is okay. I can feel it and find the awareness of why and I can pray and let it go. I can do this and so can you!! So happy you found a nice meeting. Its nice to have a home group of people you feel comfortable with. I feel that way about my home group.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
