The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...I'm going to try again to let go and let god! I haven't been here for a while because I've been, well, lazy. My husband has been intoxicated since before Christmas. Last week our couples therapist convinced him to check into the hospital for a week to detox, which he did. I ended up with bronchitis and I only went to see him twice and spoke to him on the phone maybe once a day. I took care of myself - cleaned our apartment, relaxed, read a couple of good books, had some wonderful time with my girlfriends, cooked, watched television. He came home Monday. His father came over as soon as I got home from work and stayed until after 11:00 P.M., at which point I was exhausted. My husband became angry that I didn't want to be "intimate" with him because I was tired and still recovering from my illness. Tuesday, Wednesday and today he has been drunk. He is spouting off about how he can do whatever he wants because I am "holding out" on him. His illness is so mean to him, and mean to me. We are supposed to go on a cruise next week for vacation. I purchased non-alcoholic beverage packages for the two of us and now he is trying to convince me to purchase the alcoholic beverage package for myself. I don't want to do that.
I miss my husband. I haven't seen him in ages. I'm trying to fill in my time, definitely treating myself better than I really ever have. I'm eating better, sleeping more consistently. But I'm starting to seriously consider moving out of our apartment, another thing I don't want to do, and getting my own place. It is not in my nature to make promises and not keep them - when I married this man, the promises I made were important to me. But I'm not sure how much more of this insanity I should allow myself to be subjected to.
Oh, who knows. Anyway, thanks for being here and for letting me vent about this. I'm surprised at how much serenity I have, even with my husband's drinking being completely out of control. I'm very grateful for this website and for the Al Anon program - I wouldn't be here without them!!
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
All I can say is hugs and soooo glad to see you around!!!
Sending love and support, you will know when enough is enough, hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks P. This is hard. Your love and support helps so very much.
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
Welcome to MIP. I am so glad that you have the support of Face to Face meetings and have decided to participate on this Board.. It is obvious that you are working a powerful program. The fact that you took care of yourself while you were ill and enjoyed time with your friends and are feeling serene in the midst of this crisis.is a great testament to your program.
Thanks for the title to your posting. "Just for Today "is a powerful philosophy to incorporate into living life . The bookmark of the same name, was my Bible when I first entered this program. It gave me small goals to aim for each day that were focused on myself,and were constructive ideas to recover.
Alcoholism is a very painful disease that searches out any reason to act out destructively. Knowing that I am powerless over this disease, really helped to clarify my boundaries and focus
thanks for your input, Betty. As this day has progressed, it has become more and more apparent to me that my husband is incapacitated and unable to function today. My knee-jerk reaction is that I just want to run home, put my arms around him and love him. But prior experience and this program have taught me that I need to do for myself right now. So I'm going to go to an Al Anon meeting after work, then take myself out to dinner and possibly meet up with some friends to play pool and chat. If I make it to dinner without running home to him, I'll feel like I've accomplished something.
You're right that this is a very painful disease. It's wrenching my heart as I type.
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
I am inspired by how you are handling this right now. Glad you are here and sorry you are having to go through this right now. Sending you support and strength and courage while you work through this challenging time.
Holding out on you? Wow. What a ridiculous reason to relapse. That is some serious insanity. I dont know how you put up with even hearing such insanity. Detox is not cheap either and to throw it all away on such BS. You are right that the disease is mean, but he is embracing his illness and that is something you do not need to do. My heart goes out to you.
