The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The letter in the mail that I've been waiting for and dreading at the same time finally came yesterday... He is to go to court in march for violation of probation... Requesting 30 days jail time... Reinstated on probatin with all of the same terms... AA twice a week, weekly contact with sponsor, contact with po,yada yada... All the stuff that he hasn't been doing so far... I don't expect this will do ANYTHING.. Last time this happened they requested 30 days in jail, he did 14 days and got out and was high that night... They still are requesting a chemical assessment in which he was told he needed treatment the last time he did one and that is how he got sober last time but he failed to do his assessment this time and so who knows if he will do it ever... A small stay in jail isn't bad for him I suppose if it means he can still use... I'm anxious about when he goes and MAD that he wouldn't just do what he needed to do so he didn't have to go and LEAVE ME here.... BUT I'm also happy that he is going to go and sit in there and be miserable... I know this sounds bad... I'm just so angry with him... On the other hand I'm happy for a break!!!! I will not be going to visit him and I will not be sending him any of MY money for snacks... If he has money at the time I will send that but I'm sure he wont.... HIS PROBLEM NOT MINE.... HIS CONSEQUENCES.... I just wish I could not be so dang mad so I could get my thoughts under control at night and actually sleep..... So much stress lately.... Reading alot though..
Serenity Prayer AND 3 C's, .. you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. That makes such a big difference for me to see that it is the active disease and the denial that goes with it.
Anyway, I am sorry you are having the issues with sleep as sleep is a good thing. It really depends on the judge in the situation and if they get tired of having someone thumb their nose at the system.
I can't remember if you are reading path way to recovery or the how alanon works book .. going to the section on step 1 in either book truly does help.
Hugs P :)
Thinking of you and sending you much support during this difficult time.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I used to work in the drug courts here in Australia, and yep.. even I, as the clinician for the court regarding entry to treatment (chemical assessment you guys seem to call them), got sooooo frustrated with the Magistrates ... nil consistency... I got more frustrated with my clients at times hahahaha.. nil consistency either....
You are so correct.. his consequences. I can actually hear some strength in your voice compared to 4 months ago though. You don't sound as caught up or as out of control within yourself. You have a certain serenity about you that is better than previous.
He may or may not go to jail, he may or may not keep using out of there or in there. What are YOU going to do?
