The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last Night i Hit a Meetin at Last Minute & Truly Needed to be there, it was basically about "Owning what is Mine"
Over the Weekend I had rearranged my plans out of fear, and basically Once I Owned it, I was then able to move forward...So it was indeed a Topic that I needed to be apart of...
Long Short- After I Realized what My Mind & Body was Up too, I Decided I needed a Change of Pace, and decided to go crank the heat up in my Camper down in the woods, and spend the night, and then enjoy the next day all day, and God Blessed me with a Really Nice day, The Sun was out, temps in the 40's but with the sun and working in the woods, and hiking, and bird watching it was amazing...
It was Like I did Nothing, but felt so Accompished if that makes any sense? HP was Near, and Present and all I had to do was Be... I wondered thru the woods for about 3 hours, Just Me, HP, My Handsaw :) & My Camera :) It was the Calmest my soul had been in the last few weeks, and it was Well over due...
After Coming home grabbin a Shower, and the Husbands Treat to dinner, My Meeting seemed to be the Added Touch to make it All Perfect, at least for those 24 hours...
I have come to know that is it time to rearrange My Stars again... I have done it many times and slowly I seem to catch myself Snagging back up in other peoples "Stuff"... Just because I Share Bloood, Or Family, Or Friends, or Just because I am a Human Target for this Kind of Behavior...
Growing up in an Alcoholic home somehow the People Pleasing In Me, turned to Compassion for Everyone & Everything that was Out of My Control...
I have realized yesterday that I am again trying to make others out come more suitable, Not really standing at the "Control" Box yet, but Trying to Make things Better Behind the Scenes... and it is time to "Think" about every step of this... "Is it Thoughtful, Is it Honest, Is it Important, Is it Necessary, & Is It Kind..." and tho I Run these Questions thru my mind about My Answers to them, I also have to ask those questions of their statements to Me, Something that does not Come Natural to Me...
I Hand my power over to "Helpless" ALOT... Or at least how I "Precieve" Helpless... I have been here Long enough to know that it is ME the Problem is ME, and tho I Know I have to be Gentle On myself, I also at times Have to buck Up & just say... OK... Enough... This Road is Long Enough. Thee End.. And that is were I am now...
The Weeks & Days to Come are Going to Suck, I have Accepted it...I'm Sure there will be Fun times but My Heart will weigh Heavy until I Can Find a Good Home for One of My Dogs... It Saddens me that I have to at all, but I just know there has to be a Wonderful Place she can get the attention she needs, & deserves.. Or at least that is my Prayer...
I have so much on My Mind these last couple weeks, and tho I make my Meetings a couple times a week, I still at times, forget the simpliest of things, I forget that "He Can, I Can't, I think I'll Let Him"... And that is One that this Week I Have to Own... That is the Weeks Montra for This Girl, Because until I can Wait out the Storm, While Doing My Part (and ONLY My Part) Insanity is goin to be the Only Thing Left... And Currently That Dont Fit my Timeline...
So its Back to the basics... 1...Powerless 2....Restore my Sanity 3....He Can, I Can't...
Back to basics always works for me. Great decision that you made in going to the camper Time to gather you energy, thoughts and talk to HP . Add to that a meting and diner out with hubby and I think you have started the week well.
I agree giving our power over to the" Helpless" only seemed to make me as helpless. Take care of you and then you can see clearly as to the next right move for your family and yourself. Trust HP live one moment at a time and you will get through this winter.
So glad to see you around and I hope you enjoyed the trip it sounded lovely!!
Very great share!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
"I have realized yesterday that I am again trying to make others out come more suitable, Not really standing at the "Control" Box yet, but Trying to Make things Better Behind the Scenes... and it is time to "Think" about every step of this... "Is it Thoughtful, Is it Honest, Is it Important, Is it Necessary, & Is It Kind..."
I have to remember this too. I so needed to read your post today. I too have had to remind myself of step 1. I keep coming back to it. I know that I am powerless but there is a part of me that keeps wanting to believe that in some way I have some kind of power.
I believe I know what you mean about trying to make things better behind the scenes.
