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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Laundry List - adult child related
Post Info TOPIC: Laundry List - adult child related
Tracey C


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Laundry List - adult child related
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Hi, 

The past few days I've been really surprised to notice how much of my day is actually spent worrying about others and what they're up to.

Trait 4 of the Laundry List says - We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.

Trait 6 says -  We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults.

Both of these have been coming up a lot these past few days.  My husband to do with feeling abandoned.  A friend and my daughter to do with no. 6.

This never seems to end, but I guess that's life.  All I know is only I can look after myself.

Kind Regards,

Tracey



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Pushka


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Hugs Tracey,

What great awareness!!! You are right all you can do is the next best thing in your own best interests!

Hugs P :)



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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Highlyfavored


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I can sure relate to that.  It sure is hard to do when some of the people I'm concerned about are under 18.  Sometime I worder if they will make it to 18, with all the dysfunction they have to live with there A/A mother.  I get so tired of praying.  I know, it's time for a meeting, I didn't get to one last week because I was sick.



-- Edited by Highlyfavored on Monday 30th of January 2012 02:32:38 PM

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amills4294


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Thanks for sharing Tracey. I too have very similar experience. It's hard to keep focus on you when others are going through stuff that they are not willing to face (at least in my case) and it's around all the time. Keep up the good work! Take care of you first!

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Breakingfree


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II can relate, thanks for the share!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

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" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Jozie


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Yep Yep Yep....

Trait 4 of the Laundry List says - We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.

I Fit Right into ALL of those for Sure, Thanks for Your Post... Needed it today as a Reminder of were i'm headed in all this Current Insanity...

Trait 6 says -  We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults.

This is So Me As Well... My Issues have Always road Back seat to others around Me, and Truly I have seen Lately that has become more Clear... Seeing People for Who & What they are and doing my best to Keep the Judgement Out of it, truly at times is tough...

To Keep Compassion, when I know I am being Manipulated and Played for My Kindness& Love... to know that Hurts... Yet I Keep Steppin IN front of that Same Bus...

Yet at times, I have More Fear Going Deeper to the Memory's of Me! Fear of what Hides there that I am Unaware of I suppose... I have Dug out many Skelatons in my Closet, Just not Sure that Door will Ever Close, got a whole Lot In there, Not affraid to Tell My Part, Just affraid I wont know right from Wrong... So Blurred, So Much of It...

So Grateful to have such a Place to Learn how to Grow, even tho I Carry MANY of these Traits, I get up Everyday with a Choice, it this day will be better then the last, & if this day will be the Next best thing...

 

Thanks again for Your Share, Great Program Work :)

Friends in Recovery

Jozie

 



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Lindaoakford


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I think trait 6 is what we work on with step 4 and 5
We change the focus and look at ourselves and identify what we are doing.

then we can change it. I guess it relates to taking our own inventory and handing over to our HP, other people and what they do.

I certainly have trait 6 to the nth degree. I find lately I am stopping myself more (not by much tho at this stage), and trying to just stay on my side of the street.
Ihave to work on my negative thoughts though as I tend to say things like ... leave it Linda, that person is just an idiot....
They may or may not be an idiot, but thats what I say to disengage from thier behaviour. I am learning though

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Linda - a work in progress
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Laundry List - adult child related