The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Now, that being said, it's an easy concept to grasp but a harder concept to actually put into place. For example, I don't feel particularly happy right now. But I know that is for me to fix, not anyone else. And I know what the tools are and where they are and how to use them. I just need to go to them.
Thanks usedtobeanyer
I selected the above portion of your share because it holds great meaning for me even after so many years in this program.
It is pretty easy to grasp the idea of the program, and once that is done it is very, easy to "Talk the Talk" but not so easy to "Walk The Walk" each and every moment of each and every day.
You are right the more the tools became part of who I am and the principles I live by , the more serene and happier I become. I know this is a lifetime endeavor and each day I must begin again with the turning over of my will and listening to the still small voice within
Congrats on your One year in Alanon. Your wisdom and courage are reflected in your growth
Thank you for being here.
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 27th of January 2012 10:14:36 AM
Congrats on one year! And thank you for your service here, you help me so much.
If I'm not mistaken, you recently discovered that you've actually lived with the disease of alcoholism your entire life, right? I also realized this past year, that I qualify for ACA as well, a big discovery that I am working through. I never even recognized all the loss and grief, or how I carried this baggage into an alcoholic marriage. It's all about self-discovery, we're getting there.
Time takes time ((my friend)) don't set a deadline on your grief, or when the happiness should come. Don't try to control it, it's another thing we are powerless over. Be gentle with yourself. This has been an enormous year of growth for you.
Be where you are, just as you are, you are okay. It all has value.
-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 27th of January 2012 11:49:25 AM
-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 27th of January 2012 02:13:44 PM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I've been going to Al Anon meetings for just over a year now. And this is really one of the most important things I've learned--if you are not happy with your life right now, in spite of all of the horrible things that may be happening, it is your problem and no one else's. It's that simple.
Now, that being said, it's an easy concept to grasp but a harder concept to actually put into place. For example, I don't feel particularly happy right now. But I know that is for me to fix, not anyone else. And I know what the tools are and where they are and how to use them. I just need to go to them.
This is soooo ironic that you have shared this because I'm exactly right there with you!! Happiness is an inside job and there's no fixing it with with outside things!! It has hit me like a ton of bricks that I"m not the fixer of other people's unhappiness, at the same time I have to figure out what I need to do to fix my inside happiness as well.
A year in alanon and I am happier .. I'm not as happy as I'd like to be ... I used to think I wanted to just be a realist and realized the other day I'm a pessimistic realist and now I would rather be an optimistic realist. So I am really working on that side of things .. I always have to deal in the reality of what is happening in or around my life.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Amen brother..... I would fully agree that yes, with VERY few exceptions, we are ultimately responsible for our own happiness..... Two things (from your post) rang bells with me...
1. Perspectives - John Gray cd's are awesome on this, but he reminds us that the perspectives that WE bring to each and every situation have a HUGE influence on not only the outcomes, but also how we feel & deal with things...
2. My wise old sponsor, when I was seemingly trying desperately to "find" happiness, by way of recovery, along with many other tools (not all of them healthy), used to remind me to "live life, and let happiness find you"...
Thanks for the share
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
