I have been on this board and the ACoA board for about 6 months.  For those of you who are ACoA also, come on over and say hi.

When I first came here I thought I would give it a go and see how I liked it.  I knew what it was about but wasn't sure if it would help me or not.

I am so glad I found this. 

I tried to find my very first post but couldn't do it, I could only see as far back as one I posted titled '21 days'.  I read it and saw that I was still struggling very much.  I can't say I don't still struggle, of course I do..... It has only been 6 months after all!!!!  That post was when I had been here three weeks.

When I came here I was scared that I would do it for a while and get sick of it like I do everything else and go after a few months.  That is my pattern.  But... here I am and still happy to be here almost every day.

I have noticed for me that my posts are talking less about my husband.  Less about what he is doing and me trying to work out why he is doing it.  I find my posts are about me now.  My reactions and my changed reactions.

What I have noticed most is the obsession in my head has reduced to the piont that I can work when I need to actually at my job which is good.  I am not obsessed totally about smoking pot. 

I think about it every day, just like the addict does.  Every day I repeat step one and the serenity prayer in my head and I immediately feel so much more peace than I have felt for a very long time.

I am working on my childhood issues.  I am reading again, I am smiling and getting on my Wii and playing singstar.  I don't feel so uptight all the time.

People have noticed a change in me. 

so much has happened in 6 months.... I am very excited about the next 6.  For those of you new here.... keep an open mind.  So many times I sat swearing at what some people said to me.. other times crying.... other times literally feeling the light bulb going off.... Even those people I didn't agree with, I had to agree I could learn from what they had to say and for one of the first times in my life, I chose to listen and question instead of immediately get angry and close down.  For me, I decided if someone said something I didn't agree with, I didn't just dismiss it, I asked for more information, more clarification... normally I would ahve just said  "what an idiot.... no idea".  I decided I came here for help, help is what I might get if I just ask for it... and help is definately what I got.

I will admit I had these boards and I employed other supports around me also.  Tai Chi helped, I found a psychologist and I went to a spiritual healer. 

I am really keen to learn more and read more..... this journey has only just began and I am starting to remember some peoples story's and follow a few of you.. just as people did for me when I came here. 

You guys are a special bunch and I thank you all... 6 months hey.. who wouldathunkit