The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So this morning my AH really, really fought getting out of bed to be with our son so I could get to work (he did this last week, too, every single day--so I would wait and wait and wait, and finally just take the boy to day care myself). I was pleasant but firm about my need to leave, saying that he had promised to get up at 7, and it was now after 7 (it was something like 7:04). So my AH decided to take the position that I had said it was "way after 7", and then walked around the apartment while I got ready for work going on and on and on about how it was "way after 7." It had the usual mix of "just joking" and "totally serious and trying to pick a fight" tone. I teased back, and then he escalated it to very clearly trying to pick a fight with me, AGAIN, about how I should be paying more of the bills. I kissed everyone good-bye, and left for work, choosing to think "no thank you, I prefer not to attend this fight today."
I've put the negativity out of my mind, and am focusing on giving myself credit for removing myself from a situation that could have turned very ugly. I've had two phone calls from him this morning already, both relentlessly cheery, acting like nothing was wrong and clearly feeling me out for whether I was "mad" at him. I was cheery right back...this crap is NOT going to ruin yet another day for me!
So proud of you! Your story really gave me encouragement that these simple things we practice -- i.e. not attending the fight -- really work! Thank you!
Good for you!! You got program and you're choosing to work it!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
oh sooo well done. I tend to not attend the fight in person, but phone in within myown mind for the rest of the day..... that is to say, I run the argument anyway, just by myself in my head. Now thats crazy hahahahahahahaha
Linda, I totally started to do that on my drive to work, and miraculously, I was able to see very quickly how bad things would have gotten should I have chosen to participate. I was grateful I was able to pull away from it, for my own sake and our son's sake.
