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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ugh
Post Info TOPIC: ugh
Debilyn


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Well, I tripped from my bad leg on the deck over the river. Fell flat hard on my front. Broke my rib again and am sore everywhere.

Someone messed up my fence and stole all my gas. Mind you I am way up in the mountains....

Had horrible dreams about my brother. I need ACOBB's. Adult children who had a bad brothers. I always do. He did something that was so bad he fled the country. He really did Is in Costa Rica somewhere.

he spread rumors i was pg in high school. he lied to my daddy about me taking all mothers money, daddy died not knowing it was a lie.He lied to my mothers friends about me so they were super mean to me after she died. oh theres lots of this.

Was trying to chop one thing of wood. ow. said outloud ok L where are you when I need you, my bil. then got such a clear feeling of how he was dead and how much i missed him. sobbed and went back in. got the fire ripping.

misery is chopping wood with a broken rib. Its misery just bending.

Where is my husband? Where?? Two of them died on me.

I am not depressed. I know I always say that. But I am not. Just thinking outloud. sorta serene and looking at the "is."

BUT someone I ordered wood from emails me and says you must be having a hard time. (all I said was I can only get a hundred worth) so he is bringing me a huge load for free.

I was out of water. My friends brought me four gallons today.

Another friend sent some money I did not really know was coming.

All my animals are healthy and funny.

Its hot in my cabin....lol

I have a shower I can barely turn around in it is so small, but I have a shower. (c:

It's quiet cept for the roaring emerald green low river. Snow is suppose to appear.

I don't have a belligerant A who is dying in front of my eyes anymore. I don't have to think about hiding meds, money, hiding my keys. Or being concerned he will let the dogs out, or let them in when I just mopped the floor, or feed the great dinner i made to them. I don't have to hear I am sick. I have a headache.

I want to say I hate meth addicts. But its more  hate the horrible behavior of them. sigh

I decided after I fell, that I am truly a klutz and I am not growing old gracefully!!!! lol

So put on my red long underwear with the funny open seat and put a dress over me....with big wool socks...lol

Had three friends chatting with me at once. heaven.

hugs, just enjoy the simple stuff.   love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Lindaoakford


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the ups and downs alright

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Linda - a work in progress
rehprof


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Do you live in Maine? hahahaha

I am always lugging wood, starting fires, shoveling snow...

Be thankful you are a resilient woman! Do you know how many women are totally helpless? Be proud! You kick *ss!

From one pioneer woman to another...I SEE YOUR STRENGTH.



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bud


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(((((Debi)))))

I'm sorry you're hurting- physically and emotionally. A broken rib sounds so painful... and to chop wood!?

Often, I'm overcome with feelings of abandonment from my exAH. Of course, nothing about what happened or the disease makes sense... my initial thoughts, visions, plans for a promising future and the reality of what is. Thankfully, there is HP, there is MIP, and a few good friends and people that enter our lives unexpectedly and bring something wonderful and positive.... and the beauty in finding a gentleness.... you and your layers of woolies sound like a wonderful picture of spiritual strength and growing old gracefully.

I saw my daughter to the airport at 4am this morning, she'll be abroad for a while and I started missing her even before she left. lol My life is likely to soon have some much needed major shifts. Thank you for the reminder to enjoy the simple things.



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Pushka


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Hugs Deb,

I say with all of the issues with heat in this place and the water issues I'm living Little House on the Prairie here!!

Be careful with yourself!!!

Sending love and support, P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
danni


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What a honest, insightful share! Sending you well wishes for a speedy recovery. Thanks for the reminder to look around me and to be grateful. I love, love, love the gratitude you shared, despite the pain, emotionally and physically, you were feeling. Thanks again!

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hotrod


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Dear Deb

Please be careful.  Broken ribs are very painful.   So glad you have good friends who are supportive.

 In my thoughts and prayers.



-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 14th of January 2012 06:23:50 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
david62


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((((Debilyn))))<---gentle non rib hurting hugs. smile

Great share my friend.  Sorry you are hurting.  But the tone of your share sounds positive to me!  You are inspiring.

Just to let you know, I am a clutz too.  Always have been.  Constantly injurying myself. 

Couple of days ago I was leaving for work, out on my front porch, walking and talking to Norbert the cat.  Looking at him instead of where I was going, I stepped on the corner of one of the front steps and down I went!  Luckily I had my high lace-up boots on so no ankle twist and landed surprisingly gently on the ground.  But it felt so surreal to me.  I was watching myself fall and thinking...hmmmm....I'm falling, how did that happen, and I wonder what it will be like when I land.  biggrin  I have fallen enough to learn not to fight it, just to prepare to land the best I can.  hehehe.

So I am laying on the ground thinking, wow!, and taking a quick inventory...nothing hurting too bad... when I glance across street and see lady police officer that lives there getting out of her car.  I decide I better get up quickly so she doesn't come over out of concern and start asking questions!!!  biggrin

Just had a sore leg for a couple of days.  But I learned again...and someday it might just stick...to look where I am going!

Hope you heal quickly, my friend.

Take care,

David



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Jerry F


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Wow!! what a reality share and responses...I'm a member of this fellowship...falls and police assaults and more.  Watch where I'm going...I do!!...I'm going to fall...and I'm watching it...LOL!!  I've got my HP working overtime orchestrating my falls so that I can survive till the next one and still my belief is, and motivation is, as long as I have life I have purpose and responsibility and on/in that journey some falls.  Fell for the first time ever on a roof I was coating and didn't even bother to inventory beyond "ok you slipped three time and now the fall and you are not being responsible to slow down and use caution which will then result in safety.  Denial of reality is a death wish on a roof.  I cannot use the idea that I survived it as a reason to continue to be more irresponsible. I've got to get up on that roof one more time before the last one.

We're all sooo okay...Courageous, strong, energetic, convinced, experienced and more older adults...just not as elastic (LOL)..."Watch where you're going!!"  I've heard that my whole life and most of the time I do...I don't slip and fall when I do...just when I don't and then sometimes.   It's about progress right?  Not perfection.

Still on the journey and grateful for and loving you all.  ((((hugs))))

smile



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Debilyn


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thank you for the warmth, giggles and input. Its funny how I don't plan to share then next thing I know. And I really have no idea what i am doing or saying....but you do. lol

As  always I am humbled by you all!!! debilyn



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
GailMichelle


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Hi Debilyn,

Sorry about your fall!  I'm glad it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Nice to know that you, your animals and home are all doing well.  Fires are nice!  Do you have a woodburning stove or fireplace?  Stoves seem to heat an area better than fireplaces.  This has been my experience.

Keep taking good care of you & your pets!



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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Michelle814


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one of those days, eh, debilyn. Thank goodness you have us! Tomorrow will be better.. Im sorry to hear things are rough but its awesome you have some wonderful friends.

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Michelle!

No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Debilyn


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Gail M it is a woodstove. Fireplaces suck up all the heat up the chimney! I have no idea how in the old days how they kept warm!

Could not get it started today. rrrr and it hurt too much to bend so here I am smushed between my dogs keeping warm..haha

Ya michelle. wish it was just a day. this rib freaking hurts then the pain makes me barfy. snowing like crazy, so pretty.

Its ok though was crying feeling sorry for me trying to cut some wood. then i looked up at how beautiful it was, all of hps snow, trees, white everywhere and I knew we were ok.

hugs



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jackie11


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((((HUGS)))) sending love and prayers!!! Glad you have friends, and wood and water!!!! Definitely praying for quick repair to the rib!!!! Animals are wonderful!!!!



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Debilyn


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thank you Jackie. got a fire going and have all the animals snuggling on me. If the great pyr could get up here he would....

I could not live up here without them. no way. I was just thinking how they are part of me, I don't see me alone. Where I am sure my friends think how can she be up there alone like that?

hugs,deb



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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