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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Whose BOAT is it anyway?
Post Info TOPIC: Whose BOAT is it anyway?
Yllek


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Whose BOAT is it anyway?
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Readers Digest version: Been in Alanon since 2003, changed my life in so many positive ways (I should write a book), have an active healthy life. Married a terrific guy Dec 2010, have a dream honeymoon, happy life on our busy little ranch, perfect right!

Oct 2011, I am at a stop in my little corolla waiting for traffic to turn left, out of no where this huge 5000 lb King Cab Dodge truck hits me going 80kmh. Knocks the car in to opposing traffic, my seat breaks off and I get the full force of the back window shattering in the back of the head. The ambulance driver tells me I am lucky to be alive, Dr in Emergency tells me I am lucky to be alive.

Fast tract to today 2 months, 19 days and 6 hours later, prognosis full recovery, when God only knows. Severe Post Concussion Syndrome. I am not allowed to read, no tv, no movies, no books no computers, no driving, no sex etc etc etc till my symptoms are gone.

I can clearly hear you all following along "No meetings" out of sheer desperation today I found this web site and not a moment to soon. I am an active social person this "mushroom" existence I am living is wearing on me and I am just keeping my sanity intact "just"

Son txts me 4 days b4 Christmas: "Mom this guy I know from the trailer park needs a place to put his boat for a week"

I txt back: Hmmm I don't know son we don't know him, trailer park gee doesn't sound good, I will have to talk to your step Dad.

Son txt back immediately: will have it out of there by Dec 29th he just needs a place to put it till he gets back in town.

I txt back: we are doing work there in the New Year, we are putting in a trailer pad to subsidize our income while I am out of work if he is going to pick it up as promised I suppose we can help him out for a week.

NOOO surprise the boat is still here, we need to start work on that particular piece of property, we have heavy equipment coming in two days.

I  txt "son" the boat needs to be picked up. No response.

Txt son I need the boat owners number to ask him to pick up his boat.

Response: I told him to come get it but his number is blah blah blah

I txt "the boat owner" Dec 29th has come and gone, we are starting work there, come pick up your boat.

Can you believe this? His response: I am away just move it to some where else on your property???????

I txt: when can you pick it up

no response.

I txt again: If I have to move your boat it will be to the local dump. You have 24 hours to pick up the boat or you owe us $500 to pay the contractor to come out here a second time.

No response.

48 hours later; I am in town blah blah which is a 3 hour drive from here?

That was 2 days ago? I get home from a physio appt today - boat still here.

I TXT Heavy equipment arriving on Saturday. Pick up your boat.

Response: I said I am on my bleep bleep way!

All my old emotions regarding "trusting drug addicts and their friends and their kaos" has come crashing back in to my life. I want to scream, I can't sleep for fear this jerk is going to damage something when he actually does show his drug addict face around here...

I have spent the entire afternoon, reading your posts and missing my meetings and my Alanon support group so very much! The longer there is no change the fewer people call, my self esteem is starting to crash. I feel so guilty for "not following Dr.s orders to the T" in this situation but I can't let all my hard work slip out the "proverbial window".

What do we do if he doesn't pick up the boat?



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Lindaoakford


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HI and welcome to MIP, I hope you like it here. I don't really know what you might do if he doesn't pick up the boat, but I can let you know how I feel I would respond in a similar situation.

For me, I would be moving his boat to a place convenient for me, out of my way. This may be the roadside, or a place on your property that is well out of the way, out of my sight etc. I would then allow the universe to take care of that boat however it chose. I would advise the local police that there is a boat belonging to someone else on your property and they will not remove it and see what the legalities are around that property.

I would not pay money to have the boat removed, nor would I change my plans for my work that is being done.

He has been advised of the plans, he knew the date you had agreed to take the boat until.

You have done as you were asked, you have set your boundaries to your son and to the boat owner. I do not have children but I note your son set this up and has then left you to pick up the pieces.

I am very sorry to hear of your accident and I hope with the ESH of MIP, you will start to feel emotionally better at least.




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Linda - a work in progress
rrib


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What would happen if it 'somehow' got pushed into the street?



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Jerry F


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Maybe a call to a storage yard with a mover on the pay and have it towed and stored there.  You're being fair but not fairly treated in return it seems so the monetary charge is a good one.  Making a promise to anyone of my children doesn't hold water if it includes a friend with an abusive attitude.

Change the things you can and gads get out of the fear...that's a spirit and sleep killer for me and even worse.

You can also put responsibility on the shoulders of the "middle man" your son. 

I know my program is working when I keep it simple and am off of the merry-go-round.  Say what you mean, mean what your say, don't say it mean.   Where did I learn all of that stuff?  It works when  you work it.  I wish you great healing.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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Grace7


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Hi there. Best wishes for a quick full recovery for you by the way. I sense you are from another country. Here in the US, after giving the owner and your son "notice", ie 48 hrs the boat is to be moved by you off of my property OR else I will have it towed away. The tow companies would be happy to do this as they will make money off of it one way or another. Kind Regards, Linda

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Breakingfree


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Hi and welcome to MIP! I am glad you found us and hope you stick around. I can relate to other people dumping thier responsibilities on me and it becoming a hassle. I hope you figure out how to handle all this and don't forget to hand things over to HP if the going gets tough. Sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

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" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

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tiredtonite


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Hi Yllek welcome.  "To thine own self be true."  Self care.  Only you know what your personal boundaries are.  If there is a feeling of uneasiness, I try to look at my motive behind my choices.  For me, sanity and serenity are always good choices. "First things first." Feel better soon.  Hugs.  TT



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Aloha


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I've learned in this program that it's best to follow through or don't say anything at all.

I'm sure you'll work out the best course of action. Know that HP has things in control whatever the outcome. I wish for your quick recovery. Your accident sounds eerily like one my mother said she witnessed a while ago.

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Yllek


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I do believe in Miracles and I just knew I had found the correct spot when I found this site!

We were also leaning towards just towing it somewhere and letting the Police take it from there and your responses were the justification we needed.

We had a plan so I was able to sleep last night after reading (laughing) at your posts and I already feel so welcome here.

We woke up this morning and the boat was gone! Hallelujah

WOW when you say Miracles in Progress you weren't kidding - you have a powerful connection to our HP - prayer in numbers really does work

Thank you


My progress has been so slow and you certainly learn who your true friends are in these situations. When I hear about professional Hockey players "out for the season" I know I have a long road of recovery ahead of me.

I feel truly blessed to have the support I do and now that I have found my soul sisters and brothers here I know I can endure whatever my HP has in store for me.

(I wish I could have gotten the link to work for the meeting last night, but I will get my computer wiz DH to have a look at it)

ttys
Blessings
Yllek

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likemyheart


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rats, and I was gonna say, after a certain amount of time doesn't it become yours? possession being nine tenths of the law and all??? I wouda sold it on craigslist for space rent!

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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Yllek


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We thought about that too however, it was a piece of poo! LOL Your question made me do some quick research and as popular as that saying is, it turns out it is not an actual law.

ttys
Blessings
Yllek

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Debilyn


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I was so afraid you were going to say: new husband left after accident.

new husband is taking my pain pills.

new husband won't help me, leaves to go get drunk.

lol oh someone left a boat on your property. so? lol I mean after all the horrible things I thought you were going thru still, a boat was nothing.

I loved how you shared the texts. lol I am sooo glad it is gone and no damage. My thought was ya better find out legally. You cannot charge storage after the fact with no contract. I would think anyway. There are laws about this stuff. But I liked what if it just sorta somehow got into the street, again I was thinking wonder if it somehow went down river?

How did that FREE sign get on it anyway???

Well my Ah brought over his friends dog and left it. chewd up the door to the bedroom, barked allll the time as AH left it here alone. It tried to bite me. sigh

I would invite my son over and hang him by his thumbs. hugs,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Yllek


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The boat that was here was the proverbial last straw on the camels back. Not being able to go to meetings, see friends, go to work, drive, shop, eat out, read a book and all the things we usually take for granted were almost driving me in sane. I found this web site just in time!

We pray for Son before we go to sleep, that is all we can do. It is going to take a HP to clean up his act, its well beyond my capabilities.

ttys
Blessings
Yllek

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