The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work out, homework, clean my room (maybe move it around) I wanted to get to a meeting but I don't have the gas. Tomorrow I'm attending one with the help of my mom (who also needs meetings because of my sister) So today, I'm going to keep the phone in the other room and do my thing. I will probably check it often but I'm not going to carry it around. I'm not going to let it "burden" my thoughts today. Today I can't control him, or anything that happens to him. His HP will do that for him. Today (even though I might slip) I'm proud of ME for trying and working on it.
Work the steps, Mel... they are our guidance. After we admit powerlessness, then what?
Instead of making your boyfriend your Higher power, go to a Power Greater. I used to pick up my phone and pretend I was talking to my higher power.... sounds kinda nutty, and if any of you saw me, I don't really care!!! lol
Serenity prayer non-stop.
And this simple prayer, "God, please help me." (I found that I gotta be sincere with that one though, my Higher power knows if I'm not sincere.... Not much changed until I honestly admitted my powerlessness first... omg, I cannot stop myself... complete utter defeat)
Higher power had to be the substitution for my compulsion and addiction to another person. I built my recovery on a RELATIONSHIP with Higher power, as I understand HP. My sponsor invited me to phone her instead of contacting him........... I had to have a substitute.... God bless that woman for her patience with me!!
Meetings also substituted for the times I would ordinarily spend on the computer with him.....
When you get to the meeting tomorrow, ask for phone numbers. Those numbers also make a good substitution until you get a sponsor.
It's not easy. But if I can do it, so can (((you))) sweetie
-- Edited by glad lee on Wednesday 11th of January 2012 02:13:44 PM
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I made my husband my HP and I was my HP too. I was everyone else's HP. I knew what was best and I Put all my happiness in his hands. That really was not fair to him... its alot of pressure on a human to make them your God. But just as Gladlee says, she is so wise, I started to put things in my HP's hand.. and it was not my husband any longer. Everyone's HP is different. My HP is all loving, forgiving, and all he wants from his children is a relationship.. He is omnipresent; in the sky, the earth, the clouds.. in animals plants and in people.. He is in them but they are not Him and He is not them. This is my HP... I hope you find yours. I talk outloud to my HP daily, when I cant talk out loud I talk to him in my head. I used to only pray when life was not going my way and things were "unfair." I would pray that my will be done. Now I pray for God's will and strength and courage to carry that out. I am a much happier, peaceful being because of it. Rememebr you are powerless over your bf, but you are not helpless.. you can help him and yourself just by giving him relief by taking care of you and searching for your own HP... that is why they call it FINDING faith. you have to FIND it.. but if you want, you can try borrowing my HP til you find yours ;)
__________________
Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
I pray every night. I sometimes fall asleep talking to whoever it is I'm talking to. I'm still in the process of learning how to give in and let god. I'm still struggling with what I believe. I'm not sure I understand what I need to do to find my higher power. Will it just hit me when I'm praying or will I have a remarkable moment? I feel like I believe in a higher power but I honestly think the feeling should be stronger? Am I doing something wrong? I pray driving sometimes too. With no one to talk to, I pray. I don't know if I'm doing it right or not. Everyone makes it seem like they have had some break through or miracle feeling. Is that going to be me as well? Should I be looking for something? I did real good today, I didn't work out though, I napped. It was still for me :)
I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work out, homework, clean my room (maybe move it around) I wanted to get to a meeting but I don't have the gas. Tomorrow I'm attending one with the help of my mom (who also needs meetings because of my sister) So today, I'm going to keep the phone in the other room and do my thing. I will probably check it often but I'm not going to carry it around. I'm not going to let it "burden" my thoughts today. Today I can't control him, or anything that happens to him. His HP will do that for him. Today (even though I might slip) I'm proud of ME for trying and working on it. 