The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED!
We Started with the Book "How Al-anon works" and just picked up were we left off last time...So the one that Took the Lead in reading read & Opened the Floor to Everyone else... NO One Wanted to Speak!
Its Funny to Me that I still Struggle at times with Silence in a Group...Even if the Topic don't Scream to Me (Which Last Night Didn't) I still Feel like i Should be Saying Something... lol... Now is that Another Form of "Control"? Or am I Just uncomforable with Silence?
When i'm by myself I Love Silence, so Why does it feel so Odd when I am amoung others... I Feel at times like, we if I don't Speak who will? And the long Pauses almost Pains me till I do...
I Find it Funny that when the topic was announced I was Selfishly thinking! Well this isn't what "I" wanted to Hear... But... By the time I Left, I had so Much Understanding, I Heard So Much Recovery, and I Heard Just the things that i needed too..
I'm Glad that i have Finally got to a place in my Recovery that I can have an Open Mind, Even if when i get there it appears closed, yet when i leave, I have obsorbed so much from so many!
I Even Made a Connection with a lady that i Never thought would Accept me, Not because I ever did anything to this person, I never Met them till Al-anon, but they always seemed to stay at Arms Length with me, and I respected their distance, and Last Night She approached me, and of course gave me the Big Al-Anon (((((HUG))))) ...So I Left Feeling Like I was Again... Right were I was Meant to be ...
This Program, & these Steps have given me More then I Ever thought Possible, It has Given me a Chance to Live a Life of Purpose, a Life of Love & Happiness... And Yes there was times I had those things, but since I Joined this Family, My Al-Anon Family, I Truly Never Experienced This Much Joy, Love, Support, Encouragement, Excitement for Life & Wanting to know Whats Next around the Corner...
I am Very Grateful for my Connection that i Now Keep Open for My HP, And im Thankful for My Hp's Presents in my Everyday Life... Funny how when some one ask Me!! "Where do You think You will be In 5 years?" Had they ask me that 3 years ago when I lost My Afather, I would have said Anywhere But HERE! Now... I know HP Carries me When I Can Not, I know that the Only time that I have is This Little Pin Point of a Moment that is Right NOW! And the Rest of the Things that are Coming Down the Road are really out of my Control... And Out of My Plans, because I don't know what the next moment will bring & Frankly... I'm OK with that!
I am Ready & Willing for Gods Will, & Im Excited to See what He can Help me thru Next, Wether it be My Food Problem, My own Addictions, My Own Inner Child Scratchin at times to Come out... I am So Very Grateful for the People that I have in my Life, & that Includes ALL of You...
Forever Grateful Al-Anon Member, Who is Doing My best to Accept Recovery One Very Small Moment at a Time...
wonderful post. I also feel weird during silent moments. I worry about the new comer and think "oh man, they will never come back if we arent talking." I am working on it becuase I am well aware its part of my illness to want to help everyone else but myself. I am letting go of that. I was very quiet at a meeting on monday and I was proud of myself for keeping calm and still and just listening. You are working your program and it shows. Keep it up. happy for you.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
This Program, & these Steps have given me More then I Ever thought Possible, It has Given me a Chance to Live a Life of Purpose, a Life of Love & Happiness... And Yes there was times I had those things, but since I Joined this Family, My Al-Anon Family, I Truly Never Experienced This Much Joy, Love, Support, Encouragement, Excitement for Life & Wanting to know Whats Next around the Corner...
Welp Jozie!!!
Every time I read one of your postings I am driven to copy a quote from your message and comment on the beauty and clarity of your thoughts and spirit.
I agree this program has given me a Chance to live a life of purpose, Hope, love and happiness. I too have know these feelings before but the difference with my alanon tools I can live this life and give this love Without having any expectations!! Wow what a difference.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
