The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hugs .. I'm sorry about the door deal, however all you would have to add is the word "seriously" and that's so my saying!!
Sending love and support, P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
If this is really a safety issue, I would definitely say something. I choose my battles carefully, but if it involves the safety of my kids (or me), I set a boundary and will not budge from it. I always ask myself how I would feel if something bad were to happen and I HADN'T spoken up. Easier said than done, I know. I run it by my sponsor and my HP, and try to determine if my motive is truly to keep everyone safe.
__________________
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
One expects to do the same, and get a different outcome?
Seriously???
I know, this is how we learn. My learning not to give second chances sure did weed out a lot of hassle and stress. Just does not work. Something has to change.
It's hard for us to accept they don't think like we do,especially when it comes to something that could be VERY dangerous to us and or our children.
I just watched Rabbit Hole with Nicole Kidman. Then another with William Defoe about couples losing a child. ugh.
No more of those thank you!
I don't care if I had to put bars on the doors and held the key to the lock. I always kept keys inside and out. If there was an emergency the glass slider can always be broken.
You could always go to a lock smith or search locks. I am sure there is one that just is complicated and would be hard for a drunk person to figure out if you don't want a key or?
I think about he drove that drunk and loaded????
and again and again, then they kill someone, go to prison. come out and drive drunk again. So what is leaving a door unlocked?
I am glad you are here, seriously. Not many would understand the frustration, the shock and be empathetic. He is so sick, the disease does not care. He does not care. He cannot.
Mine made a great looking doggy door for me. He put a nice lightweight flap of wood for the flap, then promptly sawed it off. He didn't even know he did it until he saw it. He put up a temp wire fence for me. He made a good gate. Then made it so the gate would not open AND one side was a foot off the ground.
When I saw how very bad it was, I just went behind him and fixed it and didn't say anything. Would not have made any difference, he was too far gone.
We were in the barn. He walked by me with a big extension cord dragging all over with big loops. I was pounding in tac holders over my head, the cord wrapped around my leg and tripped me. He got mad becuz I WAS IN HIS WAY. I remember how shocked I was at his awareness.
this was the same man who warmed up my jeep for me in the morn before work, brought me flowers, cards, letters, always kissed me hi and bye, always was home by 6 if not called. And on and on.
Its hard to face how very sick they are when we are so close to them. I wish I had a video animated, that showed what alcohol does from the time one drinks it, then what it does over the weeks months and years to the organs, skin, muscles etc. We don't really see what happens.
Anyway it's really up to you to keep you guys safe.
It's a fact when we live with a sick person, we have to take on almost all the responsibility.
I am thinking I would not say a word and put a lock on my door. He will figure out why. maybe. no argument no blame. tried it his way, insanity, so now we take care of it.
hugs and MUCH love,debilyn
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
My husband does this too. Just another example of how their alcoholism robs them of their ability to be the leader and protector of the family that the have been blessed with.
Yep I agree with the last post. If it is important to me; it's important for me to make sure. Mostly I make sure because of my spouse's concerns and other times because either one of us might forget even though we've been here since 97 and the key for the door is always right at the door yet no one has entered without permission ever that we know. Puppies make a racket so that might be a deterrent too and still "Let it begin with me". (((hugs)))
He is doing what a practicing alcoholic does , thinking of no one but himself , I agree with jerry expecting him to be responsible is a waste of time , when he goes to bed get up and check the doors for yourself or let it go ..