The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So we set out boundries on thursday night with our 22 Yr Old AS. And it Saturday afternoon and he has crossed the boundry already.. So I told him to find another place to live. I did ask him, because i still don't understand, how it is that he has all the tools he has all the support and yet he hasn't reached out for help. He said its " all or nothing for him and since he has been being a piece of shit then he figured he might as well cross the boundry and make it ALL" He said he was going to tell his PO on Tuesday that he has relasped and see what his PO has to say.
I am sitting here with him sitting across the room from me sobbing for my son wishhing he wanted the same things for him that I do, but understanding I don't have that control over him and it is his path to follow.
I hate Step one, powerless yes powerless but not happy about it at all.
I do understand the pain and sadness that you are feeling. I do know that finally admitting powerlessness (Step !) is not a happy place.
I did find that I truly needed to follow this step with a belief in a power greater than myself. If I was powerless, I could not surrender UNLESS there was a power greater than myself and alcoholism That is where Step 2 and 3 flooded in
Keep on sharing and showing up It is a difficult road and you are worth it.
PS
Please join us on the Step Work Board above. Post your thoughts under each Step . It doews help to bring clarity.
Right now we are on Step 3 and tomorrow I will post Step 4.
I'm so sorry. It sounds as if he's full of what is called "stinkin' thinkin'." That's the addiction still grabbing hold of him. He certainly knows how to find an AA meeting any time he wants to.
I hope this boundary will not only protect you but be another step toward his realizing the real and difficult consequences of his choices.
It is hard and it is sad. What you do now is for your own sanity as well as for him. Sending you love and support, P
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
By the time I informed my alcoholic/addict son that I was moving into my own place and he had decisions to make about where he was going to install his life I had lots of support from the program and I continued to love him and let him go at the same time. I had to separate from him cause my own recovery was in jeapordy trying to live with another alcoholic/addict. I haven't been able to do that since I can't remember when. He's made a decision...contacting his PO and coming honest...Hug him, pat him on the back and tell him...good thinking let us know how it turns out...then open the door for him to go do his responsibilities.
