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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing...
Post Info TOPIC: Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing...
Doozy


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Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing...
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I'm reading a really nice book (though it does have a cheesy title) called Learning to Love Yourself by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. There was a great section I read the other night about risk... I thought some folks here would like this too...Here are some parts I liked: 

"Risk - Risking is about taking chances. If your life is ever going to change for the better, you'll have to take chances. You'll have to get out of your rut, meet new people, explore new ideas, and move along unfamiliar pathways...

When we are ready to grow, we are ready to give up the way we usually see ourselves, which is risky...We decide we are ready to give up false beliefs, compromises, relationships, poor investments (job, money, enerygy, volunteer commitments, and so on), superficial attachments, and self-destructive habits. Relinquishing these ingrained aspects of our lives can be difficult, but it's absolutely necessary... 

Sometimes it's necessary to leave an institution, a profession, or a group to find individual self-worth and inner comfort...

In the past, we may have placed energy and resources in friendships that did not flourish. It's time to let go and move on. Clinging to false hopes keeps us from our own growth. In every risk, there is bound to be some loss, something that has to go in order to be able to move ahead. Becoming comfortable with loss is a part of growing..."



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Debilyn


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hmmmm my experience is by first praying, and giving whatever it is I have lost and the pain up to God the creator, just makes it so much easier. That is not the word I want.

Makes it just part of life, and from loss I have learned that my life is so much richer becuz of loss. I feel my serenity, my own foundation. I know one can get thru being homeless, being hungry, lonely, grieving.

So I suppose I do get this becoming comfortable with loss. Does not mean ya like it, but ya accept it, and not fight it.

hugs,debilyn



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ilovedogs


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Thank you so much for this share. A few years ago I ended a friendship because I felt it was unhealthy. She was very hurt and I still miss her even today. But, I had to move on and let go and realize that she wasn't going to change. I have been a bit depressed lately since my dad died and my son is struggling with anxiety issues. My AH has upped the drinking again and I'm feeling like my world is out of control. Yet, this time, I don't feel badly about it. I feel like this is the change that needs to happen for all of us to grow.

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hotrod


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Dear Dozy
 
A very powerful message. Yes getting "comfortable" with loss has been a gift of this program For many years I tried to avoid all loss and pain I thought if I did it just right I could avoid all the problems that I saw others endure.
 
 
WRONG!! -- Being human means I will need to learn to accept life on life's terms . Loss and change are all part of that. Living in reality and not my fantasy world with alanon tools really helps me to stay serene even in the face of unbelievable loss
 
 
Appreciate your sharing the journey.


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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Hoot Nanny


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DOOZY: thanks for sharing this w/ us. Letting go is not easy. I have been through two losses in the past few mos. It is a new year so I am trying to let go. I am trying to only live this day even if it is one minute at a time.

Kathleen



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Pushka


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Hugs,

Great share thank you!!

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Michelle814


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I think the losses Ive endure, the trauma I have withstood have absolutely molded and are molding me. I love this share. I very much agree that certain aspects of life seems to get farther and farther the more I fall into Al-Anon.. but it feels right to drift away. This is scary because I am losing friendships with absolutely wonderful people but fortunately I know that God gives me what I need not what I want and that the friends that are menat to stay with me will and those who I am meant to drift from I will. I working on being okay with that and leaving it up to God. With the help of Al-Anon meetings, these boards, my sponsor, and therapy I am becoming more and more able to go with the flow and rides the waves that life gives me. I have moments where I fall apart but these moments are good because I grow more. Its like my growth is stunted for a day or two but then I sprout and Im taller than before. This share really read to me.

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