The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone,
My Fiance of 2 years is an alcoholic, he has been arrested for abusing me and the last time he went to jail for 3 months. When he's sober he's great when he's drinking he's angry. He tries to hide alcohol and I find it, he drinks and blacks out and ends up leaving or fighting with me. He is going to AA tonight for the first time since he was in jail (he got out 6 months ago). I am happy he's going but I am annoyed at the same time. I know he's going to go and then right after or tomorrow he will end up drinking again. Its a never ending circle of BS and I am just finding it hard to keep doing it. He tells me I am not being supportive but really I am finding it hard at this point to believe any of it. Anyway I am really happy to have found a place where people understand because sometimes I think I am going crazy.
Hi Ame- I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am completely new to this board, too, and can relate somewhat to your situation. I remember planning a wedding last summer hoping that this would stop being a problem once we got married (I have no idea what on earth I thought would change, lol). I was embarrassed at the idea to call off a wedding, and I thought that ultimately I could handle it. I am often on this board reading other people's posts and have found it really helpful, so I hope you do, too! It is such a good place to get wise advice!
I highly encourage you to go to an alanon meeting in your area and get a support table in place for you.
First and foremost violence is not ok and you know your situation best however your safety is always first. At least that is true for myself and I hope that everyone feels that way. You deserve to feel safe and not be afraid.
Who doesn't feel crazy when they see one thing with their eyes and are told something else? It's like having inner war with your mind and your eyes and telling yourself even though your brain knows this is what I saw and having your eyes say no it isn't.
Take the focus off of him and put it on you. You deserve to be healthy, whole emotionally, physically and mentally. It's so much better to give to others from your overflow instead of being at the bottom of the barrel from the reserves.
You didn't cause his addiction, you can't control his addiction and you won't cure his addiction. You can change you and it makes a world of difference.
Keep coming back, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
