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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Been MIA from Alanon
Post Info TOPIC: Been MIA from Alanon
Gailey


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Been MIA from Alanon
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Hi everyone and Happy New Year to you all. I wish everyone good health, peace and serenity in 2012.

Let me just pick up where I think I left off. A son got his 3rd dui the end of July. Either this was his bottom or else AA took hold of him this time. He was fortunate enough to walk into a meeting on a Monday evening to appease his wife and has never looked back. That meeting was a small meeting but was filled with Oldtimers with a lot of recovery. They were all older than him and immediately took him under their wings. What a blessing that night has become. Now...almost 6 months later he attends meetings almost daily. I have never heard him tell his story but from what I gather he must be a pretty good speaker. He has already been ask to speak at several meetings. He goes to rehab centers and speaks to people there. Recently, he was just asked to take over and run a Wednesday night meeting at a church. It is beyond belief to me. His sponser has 20 or 25 years recovery and has been working the 12 steps with him. Another AA member is a lawyer with the same amount of time and has taken on his dui case. These men are his new family. He lost his license through the Motor Vehicle trial for 4 months. He has managed to find himself a job within walking distance from his home and there is always another AA member who will pick him up for meetings. Also, he lives close enough to town that he can even ride a bike to some of them.

He married a girl that has addictions too. She is a nurse and her drug of choice is pain pills. This is a very toxic relationship. He wants to leave because he feels that this is no longer an atmosphere that he can continue to work on himself and stay in at the same time.no About a week before Christmas (I was visiting my other son in Japan) they had a fight and he was forced to leave on his bike in the cold weather with no place to go. She turned his phone off almost immediately after he left. He rode his bike to the Verizon store and got another phone right away. Within a few hours of this happening and him talking to another AA member, 2 AA members were at his house getting phone numbers from his wife of his friends. They wanted to get to him and give him support. I could not believe it!!!!! He ended up staying with an AA guy who has a daughter in recovery and was also staying with him. His sponser, who is retired, picked him up each morning to drop him off at work and went back to pick him up when he got off. His non-AA friends could not believe the power of that group.

ok...so here is where I come into it. He goes to court on the 23rd and will most likely get jail time. Although we both know that he has to pay for his crime it is unbearable for me to even think about. He has even made the coment to me "If I have to go to jail maybe it is in God's plan for me to help someone in there"! I can tell he is so scared right now and I cannot help feeling so sad for him. Why does it have to come to this before they see the light? Not to mention that he will lose a job that has finally gotten him out of the stress of the restaurant business and will have a very hard time finding another one in walking distance.

So....I need to trust in God that he will get us through this and whatever decision is made is to enhance both of our recoveries.

If you have read this far I thank you!

Gail



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Gail
Pushka


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Hugs Gail,

I can't believe how hard this must be for your whole family. I will have you guys in my prayers. Something that he has going for him is he has a program AND a sponsor. That is HUGE going forward. He may have to do time however being that he has been proactive in his recovery that is a good thing. I don't know the laws in your state however I know that is such a positive in the eyes of the court. The fact he's got a good lawyer is a good thing too. It's hard to know what God's plan is and maybe he is going to need to be there to help someone like him. Whatever the plan the fact he's doing his program is great!!

Hugs P :)



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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Michelle814


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Gailey, I'll say it again but you already know it. With your HP you can get through anything. Prayers for courage, strength, hope, and his will.... those prayers are always answered. I do not believe my HP can make things go a certain way for me but I do believe my HP is always there and all I have to do is draw near to God and God fills my spirit. You will be alright no matter what and your son is so blessed to have such a strong Mom who works her own program as he does his. Your son sounds like AA really got a hold of his heart and soul and I believe in hope. No matter what happens, with God, it is possible to remain strong. "I know God never gives me more than I can handle, I just wish He did not trust me so much sometimes." -Mother Theresa


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Michelle!

No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Jerry F


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((((Gailey))))....good to have you back on the board Sis!!  That's a cutie in your Avatar...you still have dolls?  

You know how the program goes...you get to have all the feelings there are and still work the program inspite of it.  It's the program that works when we work it and when we don't...It don't!! 

Whatever he earns he earns and if he's really into his program and his people and sponsors and HP are his daily group he will help others where he is going cause that's how the 12th step teaches up.  If he isn't going to jail then he will get to help others where ever he is at anyway.

You know how it works...it's what you do huh?   Soooo good to see you from the keyboard again.   (((((hugs))))) smile



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Debilyn


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I know it is hard for you to think of him in jail and the consequenses of that.

However it is a learning experience. He may need this time to read and meditate. He cannot get in trouble in there if he follows the rules, and stays away from the creeps.

But it is a great attitude adjustment for some.

I told my son if he ever ended up in jail don't plan on me coming to see him. He never went to jail.

It's their lesson. Most honestly do fine in jail. Its prison that is so horrible. 

As far as his job. Just does not matter. ONE day at a time,take things as they come.

Take care of YOU. Allow him to learn from this. You are a special lady, you know he will be ok. So glad AA members are there for him!!!!

 

Hugs,debilyn



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