The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When I first came to this board, I came because I needed to vent and was feeling hopeless (first time) about my relationship with my AH. This was after years of active but controlled drinking, followed by 15 years sober, then 4 years of a relapse roller coast. This however was the first time I had about given up. This board gave me a place to vent and share my feelings AND gave me HOPE back that no matter what all would be well. Last year at this time AH was sober because he was in a mental health facility after attempting suicide by cop. Stayed sober till October and then quickly into the abyss. This time I got a protective order and when he came home had to deal with a sober BUT ab extremely angry and mean spirited spouse.
Fast forward a little over 2 months. AH is sober, going to meetings working with a counselor on his PTSD and on a low dose of anti-depressants. Friday night he asked if I wanted to go to our local First Night. Said yes, but thought he would bail out but he didn't. We had a lovely time, walked, talked and watched the festivities. Didn't make midnight and still no kissing, though we walked arm and arm. So the message is keep hope alive. This could change tomorrow-but for now it is enjoying ODAT.
This is a really great share - it is so positive and serves as a reminder that things can get better, even when they seem hopeless. I felt the same when I joined these boards and I can say I've slowly but surely been seeing the benefits of ODAT and just letting things happen without constantly fretting about the "what if's." Thanks for posting and happy New Year.
That you for the share!! So glad you had a nice evening of togetherness!! Hugs, p ;)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Your message returned some hope to me. I've been on the same roller coaster. I moved out last year and spent the last year seeing my AH off and on. He had three hospital stays in 2011..for nearly killing himself drinking. He no longer leaves the house except to get food or liquor. I have to say he was there when i needed him. He drove me to the ER with a cut hand..and rode out Hurricane Irene and the power outages with me.
It's New Year's Day and I haven't spoken to him in weeks. He was irrational and hallucinating most of the holiday season. But i miss him...the old him and I'm trying to hold on to my recovery...for me i think that's what recovery is. Not hurting and hoping he will change...but moving on without him. He ALSO has PTSD ( from 9/11)...I'm trying to focus on me. Soo much easier said than done.
Thankyou so much for your share tot. It has instilled a lot of hope for me. I too love coming to this board it has been a god send to me just latley. Minute at a time for me right now.
Thank you for this share. It helps me to recognize the importance of 'ODAT'. I find myself in my head so much wrestling with a thousand emotions of the past 6 months with AH choice to leave, all the while knowing... his choice to leave had to do with his issues/addictions, not mine. Today, I am working on living in the present moment. I feel peaceful one minute, then I find myself letting him run rent-free through my head the next. What is helping me to refocus is the word detachment. I posted it in all caps on a piece of paper on my fridge as a visual following by a vocal 'get out of my head', then a little prayer to my HP for added support. I may have to do this a thousand times today - but I'm going to do it with conviction to get centered & grounded with ODAT! Thanks for the perspective in your share - it lets me see that there is hope.
