Al - anon meetings and kids - Al-Anon Family Group

ttpurtee · Veteran Member

Al - anon meetings and kids

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Some meetings accept kids , get a contact number from local Al-Anon there may be a group that offers baby sitting . The only draw back I can see to taking your children to a meeting is that you may not feel comfortable enough to share the way you need to , seeing mom cry or get upset is not always a good thing for our kids . Some members take coloring books so thier children are kept busy . good luck here is international toll free number for meeting info in your area , you may get a contact from there, 1-888-4alanon

louise

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

I am not comfortable with kids at meetings. Being very protective of children I know I would not share.

But then I also am torn because there are people who absolutely have no other way of being there!

I feel they have been through so much living with the disease that being in that environment at a meeting may be damaging.

To be honest I quit going because kids were at all the meetings around me. But now being more mature in Al Anon I would be ok to share. But so many need to spill the private things and hurt and need to know if they are the only ones and how others handle things.

I would not have brought mine. Its an individual decision, plus I was very ok not to go, becuz of the kids mom. Came here and been here ever since! (c:

If it is the only way you can go, I would say try it and see how it is. Depends on kids ages too.

But no peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bananas...lol this ladies kids were squishing them on the table, and the crawling baby was under the table...I had so much fun just watching the kids and honestly was not able to be in the group! lol

Hope you find what you need! debilyn

Tracey C · Senior Member

I take my 5 children with me as I don't have anyone to look after them. The people are accepting of them. At the time we started going our youngest was 2 he has now just turned 4. I guess the bonus to it is that they're growing up hearing the program each week as well as the older ones attending al-ateen. They bring along headsets, dvd's, books even sewing sometimes. It's been a fact of life for them I guess. The other members also grow attached to them. My children received some lovely gifts for christmas. Actually when they're not there, the other members miss them.

Tracey

Iamgood · Member

Hello. Thank you for posting the question. I find it an interesting one and will just share my particular experience. Let me note that I do not have kids and thus am not in the challenging position of needing to attend meetings while having kids who need looking after. I have a friend in this position and I know it is a challenge for her.

I attended a meeting once where several young kids and 1 teen were present. The adults at the meeting shared very openly. The mom of the teen was a newcomer and shared very openly about her concerns, anger, resentment, fear related to 2 alcoholics in the family.

I felt very uncomfortable about sharing in front of the kids and thus chose not yo share my own story while the kids were there. I also chose not to return to that meeting but there were also other reasons I did not feel comfortable there.

My sponsor later said that she did not see a problem with it and that it was not my business how others handled matters with their children. She added that in her opinion, it can be good for kids to hear their parents share openly and not to keep alcoholism and its problems as a family secret, which is never discussed.

I had to take a look at why I felt so uncomforatble, even after my sponsor's input. For me, it was like my childhood - where my mother over-shared her personal issues with me. I felt a lot of fear around perpetuating that in some way by sharing at a meeting while kids were present. So my choice remained not to share in front of kids. As noted, that was not my sponsor's point of view.

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