The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my kids and wife and show her that I can be a good husband. I have made her life miserable and I am so sorry for that. I don't know how I made my way here but I have to write something to someone. I told my wife I am done drinking, done partying, but she has heard that before. But to myself I am done!!! I don't want to live like this anymore. I am going to my first meeting tomorrow and am a little nervous. My whole identity has been party guy. Who am I really? I feel like a real let down, and I am embarrassed for what I have put my family through. By the grace of God I STILL have my family and don't want to lose them so I am making a change. I don't know what that will entail but will entail me not drinking. I have to learn how to do that because I am afraid the other emotional pains that will come with that. Those I do not know how to deal with, I always drank. How do you change something that has always been what you do? Well thanks for this forum, it feels good to write this down than to try and convince someone who doesn't believe you because you lie all the time.
I'm so glad to hear you're facing things so courageously and are determined to take good care of yourself. I am glad you're posting and hope you've also found meetings and a good recovery program. We all need all the support we can get with this stuff. I don't know whether you've found the AA board here at MIP:
There will be many alcoholics with great recovery (and a number just starting out) to cheer you on. We here at the Al-Anon board are also in our own recoveries, so in the greatest sense we're all in this together. I just wanted to mention the AA board too. May your HP be with you and your recovery be strong!
It's a big step to admit it. It won't be easy but it is possible if you put your faith in your HP and follow the 12 steps. My AH told me recently that it was easier to get drunk than deal with his emotions about something. He gets the "xxxx" attitude and instead of deailing with a problem head-on, he drowns himself with alcohol. For the time being, he has lost his family because I couldn't take it anymore. Stay strong. I'm glad you are taking the initiative to make yourself better for you and your family.
-- Edited by canadianguy on Tuesday 27th of December 2011 11:14:51 PM
You've already taken a big step in admitting it and I agree you will get lots of support on the AA boards at MIP as well as going to AA meetings. You'll find a many, many people going through the same thing and living rewarding lives in recovery. Sending you support and wishing you strength.
I am wowed by your share here and I had always wished to hear such a thing from my own exAH. It takes courage and humility to reach this point and I am so impressed with your vulnerable honesty here. I hope you can share this in the A.A. board as well and I wish you the best on your recovery journey! You have my love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
HI!!! What a wonderful share to read. Congrats to your discoveries and I wish you all the best. Post again to let us in on your progress!!! http://aa.activeboard.com/ is this AA board.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
