Al Anon Meetings - Al-Anon Family Group

ttpurtee · Veteran Member

Al Anon Meetings

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Take it one day at a time and do what works for you.

If you're able to look at old posts, read as much as you can about the disease, you'll see you're situation is not uncommon and that you aren't alone.

Overcome · Senior Member

I too understand about responsibilities and not having time. I care for my mother who has Alzheimer's in my home, and I have a 14 year old daughter. I am not married, nor do I have a boyfriend at this time. Attending meetings at this point in my life is next to impossible, that's why I use the boards so much. I do try to make it a priority to "schedule" some "me" time, however... and sometimes that means an Alanon meeting or two, just for me.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it!

Overcome

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I imagine a number of us are or have been in your shoes. When I split up with my ex-AH, I had "only" one child, a two-year-old, but also a very demanding job and a lot of complications in life, as well as no other family whatsoever. It was hard. My ex-AH is penniless and has never paid child support (nor did he contribute financially when we were married). I had to develop a support system from scratch. It does take a while. But one thing is that Al-Anon is a support system. (Some of the meetings have free childcare too -- when you call the local Al-Anon number they should be able to tell you which ones.) It makes the rest of it much more doable. When we've lived with the insanity of alcoholism, we need recovery too, and when the alcoholic is the other parent, it means we'll have to keep dealing with them to some degree for years, probably the rest of our lives. Al-Anon provides support and friends who "get" it and who can help keep us balanced when things get tough -- and they do get tough.

Hugs.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Perhaps it time to swallow your pride and seek some financial help , social services may help with the baby sitting . Once people know your circumstances ( banks etc ) they often bend the rules to help . I am sorry you find yourself in this predicament but now is the time to reach out for help . working 12 hrs a days your not able to spend time with your children they need you .. You are worth an hr a week to get your life back on track , you may be able to find a meeting durring your lunch hr , you need support .. am thinking of you today . Louise

Jen · ~*Service Worker*~

Developing a support system is important, esp for a single mother with small children. You can find that kind of support at meetings. Please try if you can. We really don't mean to beat the drum, but those of us who make meetings a priority really know the value of them. Getting to know a couple of people from meetings can really be a lifesaver when you have an emergency or a really bad day and need someone to talk things out with on the phone. These boards are wonderful, don't get me wrong. Its just that there's not substitute for the real life hugs and the sound of an adult human voice when you need a friend.

Just take it one day at a time and see how it goes. Maybe don't think about it as EVERY week. Just think about getting to that meeting THIS week, then think about next weeks meeting when that time comes. Thats one day at a time. Not so overwhelming. One meeting at a time.

You will find your way. Just keep coming back.

danni · Senior Member

I replied in your other post :)

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi there and I am glad you are posting here! I gave my exAH the house, because I couldn't afford it and called social services in my area and got the help I could. I can now afford the bills on my own with a little govt help and don't have to work all day and even get to see my kids more without the responsibilty of the mortgage and his bills. We rent a nice little house that fits us and I gave away our horses and downsized to what I can afford. Life is now better, less dramatic and I am more than surviving and spiraling for the first time in years maybe ever. I don't plan to be on assistance for ever and work the hours that are offered at all 3 of my part time jobs that I can, in fact I plan on moving soon to a bigger area in hopes to be able to have just 1 full time job and have a more regular work schedule and routine with my 2 kids. I have no family around to help me and that used to bother me, but now that I am doing it on my own and with the help of my HP, I am stronger and more capable for it. I have found such a support system in my Al-anon meetings and after I went my first few times I knew I was where I needed to be. They say try it and if it doesn't work they will refund all your misery for free, or something like that. It works when you work it and you are worth it!!! I am hoping you are able to figure in a couple meetings a week and figure out how to simplify your life! Some people go on their lunch breaks or before work. I am sending you love and support on your journey!

Jackie11 · ~*Service Worker*~

Where you are at, is a scary place to be. I appreciate your post, it reminded me that as packed as my schedule feels someone else always has a more packed schedule then me.

So saying depending on your area there may be meetings offered at all times during the day. Some have child care provided. I also know that they offer online meetings on this board, I've never been but I would think that too might be an option.

I resented being told to get to a meeting. I thought that no one understood my schedule and yet when I went I understood why I was there. I can only make 1 meeting a week, but that one meeting makes a difference in my whole week!

I would also encourage reading, reading prior posts on here, reading courage to change, one day at a time. I've come across so many wonderful readings in these books and they have directly related to where I was at and what was going on.

It's easy to get so lost in the shuffle of your life that you forget to take care of you. Be gentle with you, do what you can, take it one day at a time.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.