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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Expectations Backfired
Post Info TOPIC: Expectations Backfired
Hayes


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Expectations Backfired
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What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motives - I wanted him to be with us for Christmas. What on earth was I thinking to put my needs first before his attempt at sobriety...

I don't expect anyone to answer this - I just had to put it out there as now that all is said and done and its been quite a disatrous Christmas for all - I can see the insanity of it. Perhaps there will be better Christmas' ahead?



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Hayes
rehprof


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don't you hate it when you make a bad call?

yep, me too.

cut yourself some slack, we are human...

all best,

k.



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tired of trying


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Any experience that brings a learning is a good one. Move on...

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ToT
Hayes


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Too true. I getting a lot of anger and resentment for my partner for asking him to stay home for Christmas - but he also had a choice. So yes - time to move on. Thank you for the wisdom. x



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Hayes
orchidlover


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there is a lot of heartache in seeing someone through to sobriety.  I hope you have a chance to get the book Getting them Sober.  Reevaluating our expectations is so so hard.  The more I do the easier life becomes.

I railed and railed against re evaluating them.  I wanted it all my way and I know where that got me.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
Jerry F


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That's a learner for me also...I needed recovery as much as she did.  We all start at zero huh?   I like the cut yourself some slack suggestion cause it's true...We're all human...at best.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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Jen


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I know I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes. Some of our lessons are painful but we do seem to learn them better that way. It's done. Time to move forward with a tiny bit more clarity than you had yesterday. Progress, not perfection.

Peace to you.

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~Jen~

"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Breakingfree


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Be gentle with yourself it is Christmas and we all have so much sentimentality wrapped up in it. And don't try owning his decision either. These are the best lessons learned and rarely repeated! Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
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