The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play.
Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the holidays rather than just wish it were over. I get the "remember the reason for the season" speech; the "make your own traditions" speech; the "enjoy what you like about it" speech. All well-meaning but they misunderstand me when I tell them that I just wish it were over. It can't be what I want it to be like this year, it may never be the way I envision Christmas to be; the holiday makes me sad this year; last year I was peacefully happy to have him not here - this year I'm just sad and wishing it were over. I'm not sitting on the pity pot inviting people to join me, I just have no heart for it and I'm ok with being sad today; its not overwhelming sorrow, just sad and sad is ok. I am ready to start a new year and hope that next Christmas I'll feel more into it.
So - this Christmas, I wish you a good one but I'll be happy when its over and I no longer have to smile through another "Christmas is so wonderful" speech. I hope my daughter will be pleased with her presents, I hope my ham turns out juicy and my potatoes fluffy. I hope you all make it through your holidays with sanity intact.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
One of our fav movies is MegaMind. It's such a great movie where you root for the "bad guy" .. lol.
Just sending you love and support on your journey.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
(((likemyheart))) I can so relate. I just haven't been in the mood for Christmas this year. This is the loneliest Christmas I've ever had. I'm doing my best, put up a few ornaments, making turkey dinner, I'll enjoy what I can of the day. But I too will be glad when it's over.
I wasn't in the mood until last night hit, I sent my kids over to the ex in-laws for dinner with their dad and I was all alone and somehow all my expectations vanished and I just knew next year will be better. I awoke with a new attitide towards the day and am at peace with how things went this morning with my ex in laws and exAH here for a short breakfast and gift opening. Now it's over and I can go back to my normal life. I am sending you warm wishes of peace this Christmas day!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I know what you are feeling and can vouch that this too shall pass. Some years you just have to get through and sad is ok in light of what you have been through. This Christmas is about over and the new year has hope for a better one. It took me a long time to adjust my expectations, but as my perceptions changes, so did my idea of what normal or perfect was. I am happier now than ever, even though it is not what I expected it to be. Always moving forward seems to be most important, mentally, emotionally, spiritually in recovery.
Wishing you peace and serenity now and in the new year.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
