The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week rehab in September.
We remain rather close and he comes each weekend to see me and our son. A condition I have set is that he absolutely has to be sober around us. So far he has complied.
His mom left for a 2 week vacation yesterday. My first instinct was to worry. He's alone, noone is there, he may do something stupid...Making matters worse is that he hasn't called me today. As usual he comes over on the weekend so our understanding is that he will be over on Saturday.
My pre Alanon self and current self have been at battle today. Pre-Alanon self would have called him by now to check up on him. But I decided that just for today. my current self will prevail. I went to an Alanon meeting at lunch and it was really comforting. I'm not calling him today. He's an adult. I am going to let my HP take care of me today. I cannot promise that I won't call him if I don't hear from him by late tomorrow, but I will deal with that decision when and if I have to.
I have to put my trust back with my HP. I hope AH is ok and that his HP is taking care of him, but I am not obligated to obsess over it. Even if it's just for today.
I cannot promise that I won't call him if I don't hear from him by late tomorrow, but I will deal with that decision when and if I have to.
I love this because expectations are just predetermined resentments as one of the daily readers put it and this includes expectations on ourselves... If you were to say "I will not call him tomorrow" and then tomorrow you called him.. you may feel angry at yourself... so instead you are not looking that far ahead. You are staying in today and doing what is best for you right now!
Great insight. great share. Thanks.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Thanks for the share it's so good to live in today and let tomorrow take care of it's self. Way to work your program!! Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
