The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels great.
I brought myself back to step one again this week. It brings so much freedom to just admit my powerlessness over anyone else and over their alcohol or drug use. I am powerless over that - it has nothing to do with me. I look at addicts in my life and how I have interpreted their actions. I have wrapped up so much of my self-worth and self-esteem in their actions as if it had anything to do with whether they loved me or not or whether I was an awesome person or not. It's so helpful to just take a step back and say - what the hell were you expecting? It's not fair for me to expect them to be anything else than who they are and if they want to be loaded every day, it has nothing to do with me. There's nothing I could have done, no one I could have been, that would have made them stop.
So it's good to come back to step one. I caught myself thinking oh, what if I had just been this or done that? I caught myself hoping again that my ex might morph into this other sober person that I dream of and magically we would work out. I realize that's not fair to either of us and I need to just accept it and let it go. It feels so much better to just accept them for who they are, to not expect anything else from them, and to not blame myself. I surrender, I'm powerless, I accept it and I'm ready to make my life different.
So now it's on to step 2 etc. and asking my higher power to help me.
Oh, and HP, while you're at it, please help me get through the holidays! ODAT!
Aloha Doozy...you are so much a solid member of this family. We deserve your share...For me I have learned to live my life in step one and for sure the rest of them also that way I'm not in a stop and go...stop and go recovery. Living the steps is much more healthier for my mind, body, spirit and emotions at all times and I know that because when I slip off of them I fall down alot and go bump. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Great awareness Doozy. We are working step 2 right now on the Al-anon step work board also if you want to join us. I am so glad to hear you are working a great program! Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Great share, Doozy. I know all about unconditional love. I figured it out on my own away from my AH for three weeks. I discovered that no matter what I will love him and I just accepted him for who he is. That is not to say what is to come... who knows what the wind will blow in.. but I do unconditionally have love for him and actually everyone now. Haha. I am powerless over their choices and guess what? it feels great! Love your share, you inspire me.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
