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Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately.
The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me that my ex contacted the office and he said that there had been an " ORAL AGREEMENT" regarding property $$ of his. ??!!! First off, obviously a) how on earth could there be an "oral agreement" if the last contact I had from me to him was an email saying, "no contact." In October. And b), he dropped all mention of property in the final negotiations of the stay away order. So, when he signed the papers, he also signed away his request for me to pay for various wires, garden hoses, and crapola whatnot. Honestly I have no desire to take his stuff, I packed it all the best I could, and initially I was going to suck it up and pay for a few items just to get rid of him - but when he didn't bring it up in the final paperwork, I assumed he'd dropped it.
An EPO, a TRO, 3 weeks into a stay away order, and NOW this?! Will he never stop?! What does it TAKE to get RID of this JACKASS!! An exorcism?! What?!!
I am pissed. And also unnerved. I don't know if I'm going to scream or start bawling!
You guys listening has been really helpful. Thank you!!! And thank you again!
At this point I'd be calling in a voodoo priestess, at least it's an option!?
I'm soooo sorry as it's not funny. It's a last ditch effort to continue something he's really seeing has changed and that's YOU. Stay strong.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
He is sick and you won't be able to guess what he will do or say next. It is very difficult to lose your A I have learned also. I am sending you love and support.
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Sorry to hear that! Still I bet it's just a matter of time before this stuff is really and truly settled and you won't have to worry about him any more. In support ~ Doozy
Vent, vent, vent....then when you have calmed down decide if it's worth fighting for or not. If it is worth fighting for then go ahead, if it's not then do what you need to do. Honestly, there will ALWAYS be something else. First it's these things, then it will be more small stuff or he received his stuff broken. He wants to show you that even though there is a stay away order he still have control of you. Which he doesn't. I would suggest you consult with you attorney for further advice. I hope that things go well for you. *hugs*
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~*~Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change~*~
be very very careful and make sure you can pay for the exorcism cause if you don't you get repossesed....LOL...just remembered an oldie. He ain't on the same page as you are get a power greater than him. ((((hugs))))
I especially appreciate what breakingfree said. Remember how much they like drama. I would guess he was suffering from a lack of distracting drama and had to stir some up.
The saying, "Oral contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on" comes to mind. Good thing you have an attorney to deflect his attempts to stir up drama. Your ex is certainly doing his best to confirm that your decision was the right one!
I think my decision will be not to engage. At all. I want to end my contract with my attorney after they send my ex the 30 days notice on the storage unit. My ex will have no way of legally contacting me after that point. Barring giving me legal notice he's taking me to court for...what? Garden hoses?! Tennis balls?!
What I find disturbing is the fact that he's showing zero accountability for any of his actions - after all this time everything is my fault, and he is STILL bullying me into teaching me a lesson. Every night before I go to bed I have a debate whether to keep my shoes, wallet, keys, jacket, and dog leash by the back door, or if I feel safe enough to let that go. Grr. Yeah guess I'll still be putting those things by the door at night. [ pity pot moment! ]
I appreciate you guys laughing along w/the exorcism bit. fyi I have LOTS of extra sage to burn if anyone needs some ;)
This is a great way to end this year and be able to focus on the positive which is he's done, even if he refuses to admit it .. it's done and over there is no other recourse. I'm just so sorry you feel threatened and scared totally normal feelings to have in this situation too. You will feel safer as time goes by and he will give up as he sees he's no longer getting the attention he is so wanting from you.
I refused to meet my ex anywhere after a point it was very clear he was not right in the head and he had other issues outside of addiction to deal with. He grew bored with me and decided that i had really moved out without him.
It does get better and it will pass.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
