The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Three weeks ago we got the call we had all been dreading. We knew that our 16 year old son had been getting high we had tried everything but nothing worked. The call came from his school, he was found in school with drugs, this is when we had hit our bottom, by the next day we were on our way to take his to an impatient treatment facility. Where it is very hard, I feel this is what he needs. Today we visited and he is starting his second step, his councilor says that she thinks that instead of the 30 days he stay for 60 or maybe even 90. He is a good kid and I am in no way in denial but I am unsure that he needs to be impatient this long. Could someone please give me some imput, I am very new to this I have been reading books and doing research but I just need someone to explain this to me.
It is hard to be away from a loved one for that long i know all too well.. You want them to go and get better but quickly so you can have them back around... I did treatment when i was his age... I did it for over a year... You can look into some outpatient treatment options also for some after care when he comes home... This is not a quick and easy thing... Once u get the drugs out of your system then comes all the emotions that lead u to use in the first place... I know you miss him... Its hard.. Hes in the best place he could be!!! You cant put a time on recovery... Keep talkig with his counselors and keep checking where he is at in his recovery... It really is up to him... You did the right thing and are possibly saving his life at a very young age!!! Hopefully he will be like me and learn so young that he wont have to go threw it the rest of his life too!!! Im almost 29 and ive been sober since I was 17!!!!!
I don't have any advice for you. Kristen's comments sound like a good direction to go.
I just want to give you a big ((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and tell you that you are in the right place to get the support you need. Keep coming back here and if you can find a face2face Al-Anon meeting that would be the next step. You need support and you will find it there.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I've worked with adolescent alcoholics and addicts both inpatient and out...trust those who run the program and get yourselves into the face to face meetings of Al-Anon. The hotline number should be in the white pages of your local telephone book. If his program has family night...go and be honest and supportive of those who administer and operate his program. It sounds like his program uses the steps of AA and or NA (AA is the tap root for "step" programs). Al-Anon also uses the 12steps...you will all be on the same page regarding the program and how you live it personally. Don't do anything for him but your own Al-Anon program. Stop doing what you thought would work in the past...it didn't and it won't ever. Time to do something different and to keep hanging around people who have changed their lives for the better whether their alcoholic/addict was still drinking and/or using or not.
Welcome to MIP...please stick around it will help us get better. ((((hugs))))
Hi and welcome to MIP! You already received some great experience, strength and hope. I just want to add I hope you can find local Al-anon face to face meetings and some books to read to help you gain insight. The book"Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews was a great start for me. I am sending you love and support on your journey! Keep coming back.
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
It takes what it takes , in the mean time perhaps you could find some Al-Anon meetings for yourself so that when son comes home you are a little better prepared with some understanding of this disease . We are enablers and until we stop doing for them what they should be doing for themselves nothing is going to change , except it will get worse. This is not your fault nothing you do or say will cause anyone to drink or take drugs were simply not that powerful if we were we could make them stop . Love him support his efforts at sobriety but take care of yourself , you need support too . Louise
I worked quite some time with adolescent substance abusers too. It's better to err on the side of too much intervention than too little. Getting caught with drugs in school is usually a legal charge and he is blessed to be going to treatment instead of a juvenile lock up facility. This is really a slap on the wrist for him and it's better he learn this now than later. Most of the kids I worked with did not think they had a problem because they surrounded themselves with other drug using kids and decided it was normal and everyone used and sold. I found that for kids that age...getting them to commit to AA or NA principles was futile cuz they couldn't get past step 1 even. They did respond some to cognitive intervention when I would have them evaluate whether their lives were progressing normally and in a positive way for their age OR if drugs/alchohol was probably just holding them back from reaching their potential in other areas. Most of them did agree that the drugs were messing up their education and family life. Just that amount of progress alone is better than 3 months of having them fake their way through stepwork because at least it is progressing through the denial and that is needed to eventually do a "real" step 1. I know its hard to watch your child go through this. That is where alanon might help you and the rest of your family.
