The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wish they had meetings here on Saturday nights.. why don't they? Its the number 1 drinking night. haha. Writing it out will suffice.
I am in a good position but my husband is doing so well I find myself thinking about him far too much. When he talks about his progress and how he's doing in the program it really makes my heart smile but then I think... this is all great but I have to focus on myself because #1 the future is not determined... #2 he could relapse tomorrow... but what am i going to do? That being said I tell him I am happy for him, I am proud of his dedication and, I cannot lie, I am really enjoying the new, old him... his personality is bubbling over again, hes smiling all the time.. he's just down right enjoyable to be around. I can't help but be loving it, I just don't want to depend on it, but I also want to keep hope and I don't want to assume the worst will eventually happen. I do have faith in him and I actually have alot of hope for his future. I have alot of hope for my own future as well because for the first time in my life I can stay in the present, I accept what I can't control with the help of the serenity prayer, and I know there is a HP that loves me and that makes me love me.
I should have found something to do tonight so that my options werent stay home alone or go to a meeting with my AH. Its not that I don't like lead meetings in AA but I would prefer to be at Al-Anon. The good news is, I am never really all alone because I can pray and then I can read my books. I am a walking, talking library and its fun.
My spiritual happenings or coincidental moments have calmed and now I am just focusing on continuing to build a relationship with my HP... now that I truly believe a HP exists that is. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and just feel so lost like a dark hole in the pit of my non-existent soul. I would think "there is no God" and "life is pointless." I don't feel that way any longer. I know there is more than meets the eye in this life and I bank on the X-factors and all the unexplainables. Now I whole heartedly believe that there is a power greater than myself that is always there for me.. but I have to reach out, God is always there, it is up to me to pull near to God.
I am grateful for days like today because its free time to study my books, work on my steps, to pray, and to write. I think it may be time to enroll in some hobbies. When life slows down I have too much time to slip.
thanks for listening. :)
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
We do have meetings in our Chat room twice a day. Saturday Night meetings start at 9PM EST. Each meeting runs approx. 1 1/2 hours and the protocol is very similar to a Face to Face Meeting.
Sometimes a Scheduled Chairperson is unable to actually chair their meeting...perhaps this is what you ran into when joining our chat room for our regularly scheduled meeting? Keep checking, we will be glad to have you join us!
All times are Eastern Standard Time -1 hour for central time -2 hours for mountian time -3 hours for pacific time +17 hours for Sidney Australia
Room is open for general chat at all other times!
lacewing ~!~
-- Edited by lacewing on Sunday 18th of December 2011 12:24:13 AM
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...He compared his weathered hand to mine and said, ... GROWTH OF THE MIND AND HEART are the best offers you can give.my Grandfather (Keeper of Stories), to me
It sounds like you are working a wonderful program, and I have been inspired by your progress since I have been coming to this site. When my husband is doing well, I almost get giddy/over happy, and I remind myself One day at a time, just like I do when things aren't going well. Easy does it works well for me too when I need more balance, one way or another. Keep up the good work!
