I saw these questions someone had posted. I'm not sure if they are from a work book or something, but I think answering these will help me really get through with the 2nd step, or at least guide me in the direction to complete it. Do I sense spiritual guidance in my life? How? I believe now and have always believed that I know that a HP exists. I never really learned more than that. I always figured if I'm good, good things will happen and that my HP will keep a balance. Well, in the real world bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people and sometimes there is no justice. I have a core belief that still, if I keep doing good, eventually good will come back to me. It does, maybe not as much as I would like, but good does come back, but what do I do when the bad just keeps coming and coming with nothing to even it out? I pray....I say the serenity prayer. Eventually things even out and I'm OK. There is no prayer at that point and I have mostly forgotten my promises of keeping in touch more. So, I think that I need to figure out how to let my HP guide me. I only seem to listen when it's things I'm hoping to hear. This means I need to pray more, to place more faith in my HP, to really open myself up to being guided. Not just during the bad times either. At all times. Now, how do I go about doing this? I am not a "Christian" so to speak. I'm an odd mixture of Buddhist and Native American. Researching is good...talking with the elders is good...going to events is good. I need to refill my "spiritual cup." Try to learn the ways and traditions of my beliefs. So I guess really the answer to this question is no, but I'm working on it. How do I describe the Higher Power I found in Al-Anon? I think the group as a whole is a HP. We are infinitely so much more powerful as a group, or a meeting, or a sponsor and their pupil than we are as the loved one of an addict. This is not to say that as individuals we aren't strong. Many of us have hit bottom with our loved ones. I know I have. Then we have the courage to rise up and try to help our loved one dig out as well. Now is this right or wrong? I don't have answer to that, but I know this happens. We lick the wounds of others before our own, but after a while we start to break. We lose our sanity, but the unconditional love and acceptance in Al-anon can heal your soul so rapidly and give you the strength to find your sanity. So I guess the best way to describe the HP of al-anon would be love, acceptance, support, so many many words, but what it is, is amazing. What does Let Go and Let God mean to me? This is the best slogan I have heard! It tells me that I cannot control everything. The only thing I can control is my response to situations. I cannot waste my energy dwelling on things I cannot change. All I can do is hope that my HP leads me down a path that allows things to get easier. Often times the more I try to hold on, the worse off the situation gets. This says to me that I do not have to be responsible for everyone and everything. If something goes wrong, that's life. I'm not going to be put to death for forgetting to pay the bill. My life will not be over if the addict in my life relapses. It is only up to the HP. I will continue to go on and things may be tough, but I can't dwell on them now. What does faith mean to me? Faith is hard for me. The way I see faith is having this rock solid belief. No matter what happens I will believe. It's like the way we know that 1+1=2. I know that it will always be that way no matter how old or young I am. The main difference to me is that faith describes things that cannot be proven or argued against. That's what is hard for me. Believing in the things that cannot be proven, but I have to have faith that my HP will work with me. With whom and in what circumstances am I comfortable discussing my spiritual experiences? I have to be with someone that is non judgmental. Where I won't feel that I'm being converted or told that the way I am worshiping is wrong. I believe with my husband and certain friends I can be this way. Also with my therapist. I think even here in Al-anon I get a little scared to say that I believe in God, but not in a Christian form, but I do believe that many people will still be supportive. If I had a sponsor (anybody willing????) I fell that they would have to be someone that I felt comfortable talking about my spirituality with. What might I gain from believing I could be supported and loved by a Power greater than myself? I think confidence. Just the confidence to go out and make my decisions, good, bad, or otherwise. I need a lot of that! What does came to believe mean to me? I don't know why, but to me it feels like it's this grand realization and completion of step 2. Something that happens and you just know it. That's why I guess I don't feel like I have been able to accomplish this step. Maybe I'm reading far to much into it? What does sanity mean to me? Functioning peacefully. Not just running on autopilot. Actually being able to live life and be calm. Not having anxiety all the time. Not feeling the need to control all the time. Not feeling the need to be perfect. Being able to just be. How has the alcoholic situation affected my sanity? My life? It made me doubt myself as a nurse, as a wife, as a person. I don't know if I was just so far in denial or just never realized the extent of my husband's problem. I felt completely incompetent as a psychiatric nurse. I though "if I couldn't even help my own husband from attempting suicide, how will I be able to help others?" I began to have anxiety a lot. I began to feel like I didn't know my husband at all. I don't trust him. I don't trust a lot of people. Have I allowed the alcoholic situation to become my Higher Power? How? I did for a long time. I let my husband's claims of sobriety and not having a problem control me. I go out of my way to help my husband avoid alcohol. If I decide to have a drink with friends or even want to bring some home. I criticize myself (my husband is gone weeks at a time d/t being a truck driver.) I tell myself how awful I am and that I'm setting him up to fail. How has my thinking become distorted trying to handle the alcoholic behavior? I thought I could actually "fix" the problem. I thought I could keep him from being suicidal. I thought I was enough to give him reason to live, and then when I wasn't I felt terrible about myself. I felt that I was worthless. I felt ashamed. I didn't know how to tell my family or friends. I isolated myself. How have I turned to a Power greater than myself in times of great need? Did I call another Al-Anon member? My sponsor? Did I read Al Anon Conference Approved Literature (CAL)? Did I go to a meeting? If not, why not? I'm not very good at going to the meetings consistently. I'm very introverted and so I would avoid talking to people and many times would pass when going around the group, if I could. I never wanted to ask for a sponsor, I just hoped that one would come up to me. I DO, however, read conference approved literature. This has been some of my biggest source of support. I have gone to some online meetings and posted on this board a few times in the past. Then I stopped for a while and couldn't understand why I felt my life was out of control. In working this Step, can I describe a Step Two experience to my sponsor or my group? In a written sharing? I think that this is a written sharing. I've dissected everything and figured out what things I need to work on and what things I'm doing well on. I have found myself willing to open up, willing to get help. When have I done the same things over and over, yet expected different results? When trying to control my alcoholic husband. Trying to get him to do what I want and act the way I want. Trying to prevent him from drinking or leaving me (which he has done completely on his own.)