The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I woke up from my nap and found that he blocked me on facebook....childish but he always does... And he put that he is single... Guess that just helped me out!!! So, I told him he needs to leave... He left but didn't take anything so he will be back... He doesn't have anywhere to go so I'm sure he will try to stay.... I'm about to start packing for him I guess.... ugh... Hate that feeling in my stomach....
Sorry to hear about the latest roller coaster episode Kris.... For me, this is where journalling helped me a ton.... writing out my thoughts/feelings on a daily basis, that I could refer back to - helped when the manipulation started, or when my A started pulling the heartstrings, etc.... Without the journal, I found it too easy to keep going back to giving my A another "second chance", for about the gazillionth time....
Take care
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I agree that writing it out helps so much!!! You can look back and remember and it helps. Not just with this situation but even journaling the great stuff your son says, the wonderful moments you want to hold onto, AND in helping to remember why this particular person does not deserve further chances.
You have been amazing, and generous, and wonderful, now it's time to be as good to you as you are to others!!!
Ohhh Kris, my stomach knotted also for you.... but ya know what.... I will take a huge sigh of relief with you when it is over and done with alos... either way. I used to use facebook to check up on jy exhusband also. I don't anymore but thats just because he made it harder for me hahahaha. What a social medium that is..... it certainly did give you the answer that you need and I just want to give you the biggest hugest hug ever..... You will be ok
Thanks everyone... Hard day.. It will only get harder once he comes back home to see all his things packed up and ready to go by the door way... (inside because im not that mean to throw his stuff out).. Ive been here before too many times and ive found that it doesnt really set in until he actually takes all his things and leaves... I did all the packig this time so i know i didnt "acidentally" leave anything behind.. Although his mail comes here so that was his way back in last time... I did come up with a plan that when he wants to come get his mail i will put it in the grill outside and tell him he can come get it from there... That way no contact. I deleted all his friends off my facebook so i dont see any reminders threw out the day that make me cry... I explained to a couple of them that i needed to block some people out for a while and to not take it personally... I have my little sister staying the night with me tonight so things shouldnt get out of hand and in case i need to talk to someone.... Sigh... Here we go again...
You know what Kristen just like it's been stated you are going to be ok, as hard as this may seem in the moment. Sending lots of love and support for you and your family during this time.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
You don't have to deal with his mail if you don't want, simply write on the envelopes, NOT HERE if the mail box is yours and not his.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
The ex A would claim I was his roommate when he was driving around in the truck I was making all the payments for. I was always so devastated by that. He did all kinds of stuff try to block me from signing a joint tenancy (which I had been blocked from that one). The issue was I took it all personally because I absolutely refused to take in he was ill. I refused to acknowledge it - it was all personal to me. He could snap out of this. I didn't deserve this (of course I didn't). The irony is that when I see an end stage alcoholic sleeping in the street or stumbling around I don't take it personally I don't see their actions as a personal attack on me.
My thinking got way way off when I lived around an alcoholic. I can still be off there. I can also still fall into the trap of wanting everyone to like me all the time and please them.
