Nice share thank you! Glad you popped in. (c:

What do you do for fun and anti stressors?

love,debilyn

yep- i can relate- this is exactly how they manipulate things- if they get any criticism at all they will flare up at you- which leaves you stuck with unresolved issues that you would like working on. i hate this. my mum- my qualifier- she can dish it out- but as soon as you give a tiny hint if disatisfaction with her she throws a paddy. i guess you have to say your piece- even if it means they throw a paddy. as its not fair. i think you should not give yourself a hard time about this enabling business...as its a vry hard situation to be in- we all want a peaceful life- and if someone is very controlling and dominent- there isnt much you can do. you are you and thats the way it should be.

of course he doesnt like your counsellor- as he doesnt want to look at himself and is avoiding the work. its my personal experience that my mum will avoid when she thinks things are worse than they actually are- what i mean is- if she actually did take a look at herself- it wouldnt be as bad as she thinks - i think they get terrified of looking at themselves as their issues are so huge. in my personal experience i have helped my mum with this- by boosting her confidence a bit and telling her - in other words that she is a good person- does generous things..... its really strange how you have to be honest and not be manipulated by them- but try and be kind and supportive at the same time. only you can suss out what to do in the end i guess.

its been my personal experience- that whn my mums behaviour has somehow got off the wall...she wont mention it the next day (she has been sober 20 years) because she feels s bad about being like it...when i would like to air it out and work through it. i am not allowed to say things like "you were bit controlling yesterday...or i found yu obsessive and a bit critical..." i think its when they know their mental health isnt right...and its such a touchey- sore subject. and all they want to do is recover some sanity- going to a counsellor for them. I think, is a further blow to their self esteem - when they are all the time striving with a bit of dignity from their chronic mental health problems. also i think- if they have been plagued with bad mental health for many years- they just want to get away from it and somehow move on- going to counselling sessions is just like yet another bad mental health day for them.

thats the kind way of explaining things....the unkind way would be that they are just too lazy- depending on how annoyed you feel about them at the time.

i do think- its easy to forget what it must be like in their shoes- as we spend so much time being on the receiving end of their behaviour. that said- they still need to sort their issues out- one way or another. if they dont want counselling- they need to figure it out on their own then- thats what i think anyway.

It sounds like the normal A thinking going on and it sounds like you are still taking care of you with Yoga and an Al-anon meeting. Keep up the good work! Sending you love and support!