The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first online share. I do attend a weekly f2f meeting.
Wow, so I thought we were on a good track until late last night when he storms out, waking up our six year old with his cursing. He gets back home at 6:00 this morning in a rage. Tears the closet door off, throws things. Meanwhile I practice my al-anon and do not give him the response he is ultimately looking for. I think this made him angrier. So i get our daughter dressed and we go out for an early morning coffee and juice. I take this time to phone my mother in law who promptly arrives to diffuse him.
So far today, he keeps coming home, slamming things and then leaving. I'm not sure where this is going to go next.
I am so lucky that I can go to al-anon and have the support while knowing others go through this and deal with this disease. The constant blaming me for stupid things is getting tiresome and takes all my energy.
It is not okay to slam things and throw them around the house....especially with a child there. That is threatening and constitutes domestic violence. I would call the police. I admire your detachment, but he needs to be accountable also.
Welcome to MIP. I am so glad you attend face to face meetings and found us here too. I do so hope you will continue to join us and share in the forum. The newcomer is so very important to us.
Congratulations to you for chosing to refrain from engaging in the conflict before you. It was so wise to take your daughter from the home to an early breakfast. The issues for which you described may not have developed over night and most likely wont be solved overnight. Taking the next right action and looking after your own best interest as well as your daughters is always a good practice to sustain.
So please join us in the forum. I encourage you to keep coming back and sharing. I do so appreciate the opportunity to get to know you better.
Welcome! It sounds like you handled this amazingly. I am the mom of two little ones, and I know, for me, the most painful episode involving my still drinking AH was when he raged at me in front of my two children. I am sending you tons of support today! I have found this site to be so very helpful and supportive in between meetings. Your share brings "Let it begin with me" to mind. You have chosen to take care of yourself (and your daughter) by detatching and stepping off the merry go round. Again, sending you strength and support during this difficult time.
My first concern is always my daughter and she has never been exposed to this side of him before. That is my biggest worry. He has now escalated to the point of where he will argue in front of her.
Now I'm in the inbetween do we go stay at my parents house tonight to have some peace or if I go will he just do more damage.
I guess either way I'm going to feel uncomfortable.
Hi and welcome to MIP. I am sorry you are going through this it sounds scary. I am glad you have a safe place you could go if need be for you both. Take care of yourself. I am sending you love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
yeah- lets me honest here- sometimes no matter what strategy you use- it can still be a nightmare and agro- but at least you have people in meetings that can hear you. im sorry about the slamming door thing etc- sometimes they just want to make someone elses life a mysery- i dont think they know why themselves either. its just the way it is. but a person cant live like this all of the time- forever so they usually work through it somehow if they stay sober. they work thrugh it because they have to- otherwise life will be very lonely for them
I truly believe that when he tires of ripping doors off thier hinges and throwing things , your next . Please stay safe for your daughters sake . What he is doing is totally unexceptable .. Louise
I wanted to add - I dont think you did anything wrong by NOT calling the police...It's just for your safety. Yes - the program you are working sounds impressive but safety is first.
Thank you, the next time, the police will be called. I just hope he can get enough help before there is a next time. We chose to not go home and stay at my parents.
I am so glad you went to a safe place. My ex threw and broke things and my counselor once said you are next, I never believed the counselor until it happened. I no longer accept unacceptable behavior. Keep up the good work and stay safe. Sending you love and support!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
This morning he has gone to meet with a counsellor and will be going to an AA meeting with her tomorrow. Hopefully this is the right track. Thank you for all your support. This group is amazing.
