The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So yesterday I sat down and had a long talk with my Abf about him blowing all his bill money on drugs... I had a boundry set that if he didn't pay his part of the bills that he would have to move out... We were both strangly calm and I told him that he didn't live up to his end of the bargin so he would have to move out... He agreed.. Me tried to manipulate me a little but stayed calm and not rude... Just made it sound like he had a plan and he was ok with moving out and yada yada... Basically waiting for me to start crying and tell him not to worry about the money and that I just want him to stay... (I have done this a couple times before) Guess I sure shocked him!! So, we were in agreement that he would move out... We both knew he doesn't have anywhere to go but he wasn't trying to let me know that.. So, he went into town and about a half an hour later I get a call from his mother... He hasn't talked to her in over a year.. He went down to her store that she owns here and was asking her if he can work there... They had made an agreement that he would work there and she would pay me directly for what he owes me for bills... She knows he is sick again and told him that he is not allowed to move back into her house... Told him that he'd better make it right before he lost everything... I'm telling her to let him fall on his own and not enable him.. We decided that we (me and his mother) will try to go to some f2f alanon meetings together... Also at the place there is an AA meeting at the same time... I told my bf he is welcome to come along IF HE WANTS TO... Told his mother to let HIM choose.. I then told HIM to just say no if he doesn't want to go and thats perfectly fine.... HOLY COW!!! I actually told him that he DOESN'T have to go if he doesn't want to... He is court ordered to go and I really think he needs to but LIVE AND LET LIVE right?!.. I'm in NO WAY encouraging him not to go.. I just had to tell him because in the past his mother and him have had a very very hard time with each other and (like we have all done) I've seen her try to push things onto him that "he needs to do". So, I wanted him to know that I am not going to look down on him if he chooses not to go... His choice...So, he went to work yesterday AND today!!! FOR NOW in THIS MOMENT things are good... I'm trying to push the bad thoughts of what the future COULD bring out of my head and live in today... So today is good!! Today we are getting along and it feels very loving!!! THANK GOD because I know he had a great deal to do with this!!!
I am glad you are feeling better about your situation. So he is or isn't living with you still? Sorry I couldn't quite get that from the post clearly, probably me not reading clearly.
Mum going to Al Anon sounds like a great idea for the two of you.
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
