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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Pre trip stress
Post Info TOPIC: Pre trip stress
Pushka


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Pre trip stress
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I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment.  The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where.  I got hit with his attitude.  It was like being physically back handed. 

I booked a flight from our little town to the big city I'm booked out of.  I'm doing this on his suggestion and now I'm being punished because the flight home is not going to workout as far as coming home.  My flight was booked 3 weeks ago.  So that means I have to get a hotel room.  I wasn't even aware that I could get a ticket to inexpensive from here to where I was flying out of until this week.  So now he's mad because I'm spending money on a hotel room, I booked the most inexpensive place I could get that had a shuttle.  I'm not even happy about this flight because I don't do little planes so that has me feeling anxious.  I honestly have NO desire to spend the night in a strange city after flying home I would rather just GO home.  It will all workout.  It's just small planes are so not my gig. So I'm disappointed I won't get to see my kids for another day,  I'm just out right frustrated at the moment. 

I'm crushed that he is acting like such a jerk, although why I am surprised I have no idea.  I just feel like crying and yet have no desire to give him that satisfaction on whatever level he needs it. 

Anyway, I'm going to take a big breath let him clean up the kitchen and just stay out of the way.  I've been doing laundry all day.  I'm off to read some lit and focus on something that is more pleasant than him acting like a jerk!  All because I asked for a suitcase.  I just feel like I can't win for loosing today.   The only part I"m going to own in this situation is my expectation was he had finally come around to the fact this was going to happen and he gave me lip service, nothing more. 

P hmm



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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
MrsHennepope


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Hugs! Sorry your having a rough night,try and relax and enjoy your reading.

p.s I don't like little planes either ;)

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Debilyn


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Good vent. No worries, I got to where I just would be all happy and ignore the old grump. They don't like things to not be in their tunnel vision. This throws them out of wack.

I know you want him to support you and be glad you get to go! Be nice going feeling like he liked ya huh?

Be nice to, to maybe miss him.

Its just a disease flapping its gums.

I know you will feel good to get away and relax as much as you can.

Hugs,deb



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Jerry F


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(((((Pushka))))) he is showing you he is afraid maybe just as afraid as you are.  This might be too much change for him and that is just a thought not a judgment...just might be.  Rather than explain what is going on with him go do what you have decided with the literature and your program including HP and sponsor and look forward to a lovely visit.  In support.  ((((hugs)))) smile



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Pushka


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Thank you so much for the support, I'm still a bit frustrated although I feel better. I listened to an alanon speaker I like and then I am settling down a bit to some reading. I AM afraid about this trip. This is no small change for me, I keep reminding myself this is the first time I"ve ever been away from my kids for an extended amount of time. I mean outside of the kids sleeping over some place I've always been waiting at home for them. It's a shock to the whole family. I thought he had been coming around because of his suggestion at me taking the hopper to the other airport which really was a nice thought. So it blindsided me a bit when I asked about a suitcase to have him come so unglued. I was trying to get the printer to work as I'm clicking on what I was doing and he's unhooking speakers it's like REALLY?! NOW?! I never did get the printer to work and I thought that's ok .. I'll print it somewhere else .. LOL. I did remind myself to be gentle with myself. This is not small potatoes when it comes to changes for me. Under past behavior I would have told my mom never mind I'm not going. So for me to be booking an additional flight, booking a hotel it must have thrown him that I really am going. There is no backing out now, unless I want to head to the big city with one night in a hotel for 7 days .. LOL.

On a brighter note, I already have 2 meetings lined up, plans with a girlfriend in the works and I'm looking forward to the trip. I'm trying to let go of all expectations good and bad and just be in the now as far as the trip goes. So I will be taking my lit as well as a fluff book to read, I'll have programs to listen to and I will be enjoying uninterrupted time on the plane and hopefully I will have some quiet time at my moms. LOL .. hmm .. we'll see. I am looking forward to just relaxing. Me not being news on CNN will be priceless and a good thing. :)

Hugs p :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
danni


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Hi Pushka,  This must be so frustrating for you!  When my AH starts being unreasonable, and it doesn't quite make sense to me, I know it is time to really work my program. Sounds like you are taking good care of yourself and doing what you need to do, despite the fact that his behavior isn't making you feel good.  Keep up the good work!  An al anon friend of mine reminded me that my AH isn't my higher power, and it has been helpful for me to remember that when I am feeling greatly affected by his behavior.  Hugs!



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Breakingfree


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I can understand your frustrations and just found out last minute I have to get my 13 year old a photo ID. I don't like traveling either and am trying not to spiral over this last minute information and just figure out how to do this, which means spending more money and getting to the city and DMV a day sooner. I am having to just keep handing things over to my HP left and right this morning. I am sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

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hawaiilover


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Hi Pushka:

Just want to wish you a safe trip. I am excited for you. I can understand your apprehension regarding the children. What a great mom! You deserve this time for YOU. I hope ALL works out for you. Hubby will get over his own fears. It is a phase he is going through. Normal imo. Been there and done that.

Enjoy yourself.

Hawaii



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